30 Days Without Food!

In late June 2013, I received an unsolicited call.

It was a hiring manager from Genetic Solutions who had found my CV on Rozee.pk, a job-search engine, and invited me to a job interview.

I told my wife I had good chance to land that lucrative job.

But my wife created a great fuss.

She told me Hamid, my funny older brother, had not sent any money in June and she accused me of not doing anything to earn some money!

She told me I was her “one rude, disobedient husband”!

Then she withheld food from me for the next 30 days.

She wanted her lies to be exposed so she showed me a statement of account that had Rs13,500 — enough for a whole month!

She had at least 9 more accounts that I knew of.

When I told her in late December, 2012 I could talk Hamid into sending us Rs50,000 per month, she had told me out of excitement that she could save up to Rs25,000 per month.

Now that he had been sending us Rs56,000 per month since January, with one transfer of Rs83,000 and another of Rs75,000, she was telling me she didn’t have Rs800 for my food!

She also “forgot” to fire part-time housemaid and I wondered how come she had Rs2000 for a maid but not Rs800 for my food.

I’m no less a funny guy.

I’m never afraid of mighty bullies but I never argue with my wife and I didn’t fight with her for food.

After 30 days, I ran out of drinking water and she also withheld water from me.

I couldn’t live without water for long.

Luckily, her anger cooled off by August 2.

She told me she just wanted me (to not search for jobs in Pakistan and) to go to Saudi Arabia (as I and Hamid had agreed in late December 2012)!

While I was once lying hungry in the drawing room one day, where she had “locked me” by pulling the curtain, I overheard her telling someone in a frustrated voice, “he doesn’t even die”!

It had made me wonder why she wanted me dead.

This is how my ex-father, Jesus Christ, explained the disappearance of Enoch at the ripe age of 365: He demonstrated it to me!

My ex-father confuses past, present and future because they look the same to Him like someone watching a video recording of a movie for a second time.

Likewise, He confuses between “God” and “Woman”.

That’s because anything that a woman does is an act of God and also because Kingdom of God will come through women.

Men go through an evil transformation at early teens and change from Dr. Jakyll to Mr. Hyde.

Women are different.

They do not go through this evil transformation. They don’t harden their hearts and they cry like babies.

Enoch also went through that evil transformation and changed to Mr. Hyde.

He was a son of God (a ruler) and he was the first to marry out of lust (fornication) but after the birth of Methuselah at age 65, he found his soulmate wife (the woman God had created from his rib) and married her.

He didn’t divorce his first wife as divorce was not invented till 1250 BC by Moses.

This marriage gives men access to the Tree of Life and Enoch underwent a reverse-transformation. He changed from Mr. Hyde back to Dr. Jakyll.

Thus he walked with “God” for 300 years.

After 300 years, his sin found him.

His first wife found her soulmate.

That transformed her from Dr. Jakyll to Mr. Hyde!

This happened because she didn’t marry her soulmate after meeting him. She couldn’t.

Because she was already married to Enoch.

So she killed the asshole!

Or we can say God took Enoch.

It’s the same thing, isn’t it?

Thus, even women had become violent before the Deluge of Noah and these lustful marriages and subsequent violence was on the rise.

Only Noah and his children were married to their soulmates.

I, on the other hand, thanked God for helping me lose 13 kg (29 lbs) of fat in 30 days!

I always find a reason to thank God, don’t I?