My Promised Girl – Part I

In case you have not done already, kindly read the 2-part post My Cinderella first. Thanks.

If you tell the world that you broke glass using a stone because you had the power of the Holy Spirit, then how will they know that you’re telling the truth?

They’ll not disbelieve because they’re evil but they’ll not believe simply because anyone can break glass using a stone.

There’s nothing strange about that. There’s no need to have Godly powers to do usual stuff, is there?

But if you can break a solid rock using a fragile glass, then people will be shocked and believe because only God can do such a thing.

Now I was a Muslim and had little knowledge of God when God promised me a girl when I went to jail in late 1997.

I didn’t know God was going to first make it impossible for me to marry her so that when I’ll marry her, regardless, people will know my God is a Lord.

Hence, when God’s angel came to me in December 2000, asking me to visit my elder uncle, Irshad, in Rawalpindi because there was a good chance that he was going to help me marry a Pashtu-like girl, He had first made it impossible.

Uncle’s eldest daughter, Safia, hated evil, patriarchal Pakistan and was in a hurry to immigrate to some advanced country who show more respect of women.

She was in a hurry and she was desperate.

She made several dangerous attempts, risking herself but failed.

She even attempted suicide but was rescued.

On one beautiful day, she told her father that he needed a second honey-moon and he liked her idea and went shopping with his wife!

She then went upstairs, scaled the 6-feet wall and jumped some 12 feet below on neighbor’s roof.

Her parents had locked the front door from outside and had asked all her 4 siblings to keep watch over her lest she makes another attempt at suicide.

But she knew a loophole and had carefully planned to manipulate it to run away to an immigration agent or a human trafficker — we don’t know.

She sustained a fracture in her right ankle but that was hardly a problem.

But the damn door… the neighbor’s door of the stairs was locked.

It was never locked but someone really stupid had locked it on that day.

She double checked the damn door in total disbelief.

It was not stuck, it was locked.

With fractured ankle, she didn’t quite feel in mood to jump another 12 feet to the street.

After careful assessment of the situation, she gave up and knocked on the damn door.

The neighbors were shocked to meet a guest from skies but they knew enough of her stories.

They gave her some first aid while discreetly calling her father’s cellular.

Hence, at my arrival, Safia, her father’s firstborn had taken her father’s “anxiety & worries” to a whole new level.

Understandably, he received the news of my arrival with a great sigh of relief.

He had known me from childhood as an extremely obedient nephew.

Nothing could go wrong anymore. I was God-sent, he was sure.

That’s why he aggressively wanted me to marry Safia.

But his wife and his second daughter, Saima, disagreed.

Man, will we ever understand women?

God was with women, not men, as usual.

That’s what the Terminator T-800 learned the hard way. But learn he did.

But even if you obey God, it’s still impossible to understand His ways.

Therefore, on the third day of my arrival, I had an evil dream.

I saw my stern boss, Sheridah, had locked me in a room with two cute boys. He wanted me to Sodomize them.

I was unable to control myself and almost kissed one of them when I remembered God and asked Him for help and He woke me up.

Phew, that was some nightmare!

I thanked God for saving me from morally-depraved dream but I still had ejaculated out of divine pornography & masturbation.

It was damn cold in Rawalpindi for me and I was wearing dark pajamas so I went back to sleep and changed in the morning.

My wife told me after marriage how everyone had known my little secret that night!

Damn, it’s hard to keep secrets in Pakistan and I’m a careless guy who doesn’t feel ashamed.

My uncle decided to put that weakpoint to good use.

He went to Karachi while his wife offered me a few nights with the other two damsels in nearby Murree — something very unusual in conservative Pakistan.

Since I and Saima were trying to develop our love story, this f*ck trip was our nightmare come true!

This post continues here. . Thanks.

My Promised Girl – Part I

30 Days Without Food!

In late June 2013, I received an unsolicited call.

It was a hiring manager from Genetic Solutions who had found my CV on, a job-search engine, and invited me to a job interview.

I told my wife I had good chance to land that lucrative job.

But my wife created a great fuss.

She told me Hamid, my funny older brother, had not sent any money in June and she accused me of not doing anything to earn some money!

She told me I was her “one rude, disobedient husband”!

Then she withheld food from me for the next 30 days.

She wanted her lies to be exposed so she showed me a statement of account that had Rs13,500 — enough for a whole month!

She had at least 9 more accounts that I knew of.

When I told her in late December, 2012 I could talk Hamid into sending us Rs50,000 per month, she had told me out of excitement that she could save up to Rs25,000 per month.

Now that he had been sending us Rs56,000 per month since January, with one transfer of Rs83,000 and another of Rs75,000, she was telling me she didn’t have Rs800 for my food!

She also “forgot” to fire part-time housemaid and I wondered how come she had Rs2000 for a maid but not Rs800 for my food.

I’m no less a funny guy.

I’m never afraid of mighty bullies but I never argue with my wife and I didn’t fight with her for food.

After 30 days, I ran out of drinking water and she also withheld water from me.

I couldn’t live without water for long.

Luckily, her anger cooled off by August 2.

She told me she just wanted me (to not search for jobs in Pakistan and) to go to Saudi Arabia (as I and Hamid had agreed in late December 2012)!

While I was once lying hungry in the drawing room one day, where she had “locked me” by pulling the curtain, I overheard her telling someone in a frustrated voice, “he doesn’t even die”!

It had made me wonder why she wanted me dead.

This is how my ex-father, Jesus Christ, explained the disappearance of Enoch at the ripe age of 365: He demonstrated it to me!

My ex-father confuses past, present and future because they look the same to Him like someone watching a video recording of a movie for a second time.

Likewise, He confuses between “God” and “Woman”.

That’s because anything that a woman does is an act of God and also because Kingdom of God will come through women.

Men go through an evil transformation at early teens and change from Dr. Jakyll to Mr. Hyde.

Women are different.

They do not go through this evil transformation. They don’t harden their hearts and they cry like babies.

Enoch also went through that evil transformation and changed to Mr. Hyde.

He was a son of God (a ruler) and he was the first to marry out of lust (fornication) but after the birth of Methuselah at age 65, he found his soulmate wife (the woman God had created from his rib) and married her.

He didn’t divorce his first wife as divorce was not invented till 1250 BC by Moses.

This marriage gives men access to the Tree of Life and Enoch underwent a reverse-transformation. He changed from Mr. Hyde back to Dr. Jakyll.

Thus he walked with “God” for 300 years.

After 300 years, his sin found him.

His first wife found her soulmate.

That transformed her from Dr. Jakyll to Mr. Hyde!

This happened because she didn’t marry her soulmate after meeting him. She couldn’t.

Because she was already married to Enoch.

So she killed the asshole!

Or we can say God took Enoch.

It’s the same thing, isn’t it?

Thus, even women had become violent before the Deluge of Noah and these lustful marriages and subsequent violence was on the rise.

Only Noah and his children were married to their soulmates.

I, on the other hand, thanked God for helping me lose 13 kg (29 lbs) of fat in 30 days!

I always find a reason to thank God, don’t I?

30 Days Without Food!

Finding My Soulmate – 7

This story begins .here.

I had my next vacations in 1995.

And God gave me the next hint, “She’s in a small Arabic country” and I planned a trip to Jordan.

When I was a boy, a Pakistani barber once told me nymphs and mermaids lived in Jordan.

But my second elder brother, Zakir, wanted me to visit Pakistan to help him complete heirship document for our deceased parents.

I first got a tourist visa to Jordan and then went on a week’s trip to Pakistan and stayed at al-Andalus House, our eldest brother’s house.

My Pakistan mission failed.

Hamid was watching.

He’s always watching me… closely yet secretly.

He discreetly called Abid and tipped to him to hold me for one more week, to completely lay waste to my 2-weeks’ vacations.

Abid had reasons to like that tip.

I consulted Zakir using Abid’s telephone and he advised me to get another week from my employer. I again used Abid’s line to call my employer in Jeddah and got another week.

I kept that a secret.

Abid’s wife doesn’t understand Arabic and I had made all calls in Arabic.

I went to ALIA (Royal Jordanian)’s office and postponed my flight to Jordan by one week.

After Abid dropped me off at airport with a wicked, wide smile across his face, I waited a while for him to return home.

Then I called him from inside the airport and told him about extension in vacations and how I used his phone, his house, his wife and him to drop me in his car.

I told him there were no flights to Jeddah, I was going to Amman.

He was dumbfounded and had nothing to say.

Upon my safe arrival to Amman and getting some rest, I asked a taxi driver about Air ALIA’s office to confirm my flight back to Jeddah.

He confused me when he mentioned a hill in the address of their offices. I asked him to take me to that office on a hill.

I found a very beautiful damsel in the office and her name was Taghreed (birdsong or chirp).

I asked her out but she was a conservative girl who marry whoever their parents choose for them.

Instead of feeling mercy for her, I felt insulted. I used to feel frustrated with Burqa-clad girls of Saudi Arabia who go into a black head-to-toe turban since age 6.

My anger kindled against women.

I first asked the taxi driver to show me a “good” girl, a prostitute who doesn’t mind extra-marital sex.

He asked me to wait for him till 9pm.

He took me to a night club.

There were two girls wearing shorts and dancing on some romantic music. We were alone there with a Saudi rich client.

After enjoying their dance show, I went out. The taxi driver had told me they were expensive and I couldn’t compete with that rich Saudi.

I left both girls to the asshole.

We then went on a tour of the ruins of the Romans, the ruins of Petra and the ruins or the dead sea of Sodom & Gomorrah and reached Aqaba.

There was a hill in Aqaba also.

I went there but it was another desert and just a tad better than the ruins of Petra.

Then my anger kindled against God.

He had fooled me. There were no girls in Bursa de Turkey nor on any hill or mountain of Jordan.

I asked a local taxi driver to show me a cheating wife.

Yes, a cheating wife.

He knew 3.

The first was occupied.

The second was no longer in business.

The third asked us to wait for her husband to go out to drink.

We waited and waited and waited but her stupid husband won’t go out to drink that night.

At last, I lost hope.

I told my young, handsome taxi driver that if he failed to find me a girl that night, I was going to fuck him instead!

He looked at me with eyes wide open out of fear…

then we burst into a laugh!

The first taxi driver had ripped me off all money and there were no international ATM machines in Jordan.

This story continues .here.

Finding My Soulmate – 7

Jesus In The Trash

When I was about 9, I was once going to buy bread for lunch. I had 6 older brothers. They kept passing the buck until it came my turn when I was about 4.

I refused to pass the buck to my younger brothers. I was a bad child who didn’t keep the family tradition!

It’s very unsafe for children to go out in Saudi Arabia, especially at noon, when the streets are empty. It’s women who produce children and protect them but in the holy lands of Saudi Arabia, there are no women rights.

One day, I was going to buy bread when my eyes fell on a torn-out booklet thrown in a pile of trash. It was a colorful, illustrated book and I loved books so I picked it up.

It told a weird story of a strange guy named Issa. He was such a nice guy, I fell in his love head over heels but the authorities..

The authorities crucified him!

While on the cross, he asked God to forgive his tormentors as they didn’t know what they were doing. I also remember his heartwrenching cry “My Lord! Why have you abandoned me?” and God immediately answered and took his pain away (assisted suicide).

When his disciples once woke him up before the ship drowned, he scolded the winds and waters first then he rebuked his disciples for their lack of faith.

What an amazing teacher, I thought. He never mocked them. He never punished them. This guy was amazing.

When he came walking on water, he scared his disciples but when they cried, he comforted them.

What a nice, funny guy!

And when Peter showed interest in also walking on water, he didn’t challenge him. He encouraged him and when Peter started drowning, he didn’t mock him, he helped him. So much better than my elder brothers!

How could a child not love him?

Now I know it was the Gospel.

Next day, I read the verse 61:14 of Quran in school, which concluded by stating that God helped Jesus’s followers and they prevailed. I also read verse 41:34, which says,

“The evil and good are not equal. Payback by kindness then your enemy will become a friend.”

Jesus taught me the secret to overcoming the world!

In fact, I already used to obey that command but Jesus wanted to show me why I was doing the right thing and to also learn Quran.

My brothers used to mock me and despise me for doing every dirty job without arguments or complaints. So Jesus decided to meet me in a pile of trash to tell me “It’s OK to do the dirty jobs and help your mom who also loves you”.

And he gave me the power to bring about the change in my family.

Jesus In The Trash

Confused Religion

Everybody thinks Quran is an incomplete book. The scholars tell us that the Hadith books are supposed to complement it.

The Hadith books stress on following the example of Muhammad.

But Muhammad married a dozen women while Quran limits us to 4. How come Muhammad married more than 4 women and why?

The scholars say the Law for prophets is different. And Muhammad had extraordinary libido so he could satisfy 12 women, including a child.

Now I’m confused.

Are we supposed to follow the example of Muhammad or not?

I believe these scholars are grossly wrong. They don’t understand Quran 4:3. Nor any other verse for that matter.

I don’t also agree with the simplistic approach taken by Christian priests who tell me Quran is a false book.

And I’m not a politically-correct person, either. I seek the truth and I like to tell the truth and the truth is that Quran is not a false book but the established Islam is.

Confused Religion

Adam & Eve

We all have heard this story. The oldest of stories. The scholars have been trying to decipher it but I believe we can never understand this story on our own.

However, I can tell you what this story means because Jesus explained it to me through a demonstration. My life is full of tragedies that explain Bible.

One story God blessed me with was my strange wife and her strange lover that explains the story of Adam & Eve.

Since the earliest days, my wife told me she was going to fight me. I tried my best to avoid the inevitable but I failed. For 12 years I tried to love my wife with all my heart & soul but failed. My false, man-made love lost to my wife’s holy love. Thank God.

After 9 months of losing my wife, God sent an angel and I saw a vision. I saw my villain. He was my brother, Hamid, who lives in Saudi Arabia!

I had married his ‘woman’, his soul mate and he silently sacrificed and also agreed to help me financially because that’s what God wanted him to do and he trusted God.

Then I told both my wife and my brother the secret of their strange attraction and they were shocked to learn the truth. Till then, they fool never knew the other also loved them.

Here is the truth: for each of us, God creates a woman from our rib. “Woman” means “from-man”,
perhaps the only true English translation of a Hebrew word, Ish-ah.

The story says God created Adam from dust and put him in a garden in the east i.e. in Greece. But Adam was lonely and God saw that it was not good for man to be sad & blue. He first brought all kinds of animals to Adam and Adam gave them names. And whatever name Adam gave to each animal, that was its name i.e. God liked those names because they were true and correctly defined each animal unlike English names.

Adam saw how each animal had a pair but he had no one to pair with. Then God sent a deep sleep over Adam, took one of his ribs and created a woman from that rib. A woman is not created from dust but from flesh & bone, despite what scientists will tell you.

Then God brought that woman to Adam to see what name he shall give to her. Adam said “Now this is a bone of my bone and a flesh of my flesh so I’ll call her ‘woman’ and I’ll call this woman Eve (Giver-of-life)”.

Why create a clone from our rib?

Because each animal is one species so a lion can pair with any lioness — both share same personality.

But mankind is not one species but each man is a different & unique person.

I love the blue color but my wife loves the pink color. So each morning, I paint my house blue and go to work but when I return home in the evening, I find out my wife has colored my house pink.

God created Eve to be a helper for Adam but my wife is more like a Pink Panther to me. We all have married strange flesh. We all have violated women’s rights. Hence, there will be no World Peace, despite UNO’s promises.

God said “Let’s create man in our image.. Man and Woman created them He” Does that mean God has a wife? No. As God and His son are one and indistinguishable from each other, never separated from each other, so He creates for each one of us someone to love and bond with for eternity.

That’s how the Original Script used to be and there was World Peace.

Then Sons of God (rulers) saw that daughters of (ordinary) men were beautiful and they married whatever women they liked (lust).

World Peace was lost.

And the problem kept compounding so God sent a Deluge to save women and World Peace was restored… for a while.

Now the kind of love between Adam & Eve is holy and strange that’s why none of us understood it. Not me, not my brothers, and not anyone else.

Hence, Jesus Christ explained it to me through my life’s stories.

My wife asked God and He advised her to marry me, not my brother, Hamid. She took great leap of faith and married her lover’s brother. She easily sacrificed her love for the sake of God.

Hamid put up a great resistance through other brothers and sisters but when he poor learned his Saima wanted to marry his brother, he helped us financially. This strange tendency to sacrifice makes this love even holier and deserves a separate post.

I will tell you more details and about the demonstration.

But is my explanation clear or is it still ambiguous? I’d like you to tell me what parts are ambiguous.

Thank you.

Adam & Eve