The Perfect Scientists

There used to be some chemicals.

Then some chemicals thought of arranging themselves into an RNA and become a virus and there was a virus.

Then a virus thought of turning his RNA into an advanced DNA and become a germ and there was a germ.

Then two germs thought of becoming a multi-cell insect and there was an insect, male and female.

Then a pair of insects thought of becoming a bird and be better off and there was a bird, male and female.

Then a pair of birds thought of becoming a four legged animal and walk instead of flying and there was an animal, male and female.

Then a pair of animals thought of becoming a predator and eat delicious meat instead of grass and there was a predator, male and female.

Then a pair of predators thought of becoming an ape and live in a group and there was an ape, male and female.

Then a pair of apes thought of becoming a man and learn to talk and there was a man, male and female.

Then a pair of man and woman thought of becoming a God and bring some sense to all this nonsense and there was a God, Father and Son.

Then God thought “These scientists are idiots. Why not start from the Creator and keep things simple in the first place? Why do evil and say ‘There’s no God’ and end up with God, nevertheless?”

End of the evolution cycle.

What’s so hard about becoming a God, after all, eh?

The Perfect Scientists

The Great Escape

There used to live a man named Abdullah in Mecca. He married a Christian woman named Amna in a city of (Arab) Jews.

The Saudi king, Abu Jehel, had built a shrine like‎ the Temple of Solomon on the holy mount of Zion, in Jerusalem, and used to hide The Second Commandment of Torah that prohibits worship of idols.

People had faith in the “men of God” of Mecca and had no access to Torah, an expensive book at that time.

Abdullah had the bad habit of telling people about that Second Commandment of God instead of marketing the lucrative idols like the rest of “thankful” people of Mecca.

One beautiful day, when he was returning in a caravan to Mecca, he was killed. People believe his death in his twenties was natural.

They have faith in men of God and the Saudi king.

His wife, Amna, was pregnant and gave birth to a son she named Muhammad.

When Muhammad reached 6, his Christian mother took him to Madina, to her family.

On her return, she, too, was killed like her husband. People believe she died a natural death.

They have great faith in men of God and the Saudi king who uses them.

Muhammad studied on the hand of a Christian monk in Syria as all Muslims know but they only believe the Saudi king who says Muhammad was illiterate who couldn’t even read a word.

Upon completing his studies, Muhammad married a widow named Khadija, also a Christian.

She already had an orphan named Zaid.

Muhammad committed a crime against the “holy” shrine and they killed his wife but Muhammad and Zaid managed to escape to Madina.

When Muhammad reached 57, Zaid took a new wife named Aysha.

Muhammad fell in love with Aysha, his adopted son’s wife.

Zaid divorced her so that Muhammad could marry her.

As soon as Muhammad slept with her, he received  The Baptism of Love  and became a saint.

He was not a cave-man as Men of God say but people have too great a faith in men of God.

Soon afterwards, Muhammad started receiving angels and revelations. He named it Quran, which means “read a lot”.

You can’t decipher Koran unless you’ve been baptized. That’s what Quran says.

لا يمسه إلا المطهرون

Translation: None touches it except those who have been baptized.

Mecca’s authorities fought and resisted Muhammad for some 23 years then they suddenly accepted him and even exalted him. Why?

Because Quran seems to acknowledge the Shrine of Mecca, unlike the books of Jews (Old Testament) or the books of Christians (New Testament). It was too easy to hurt the lucrative income from Ka’ba using Bible.

This is what Quran says about Ka’ba:

جعل ﺍلله ﺍلكعبة البيت الحرام

Translation: God has made Ka’ba the Haram (Forbidden) House.

But the Saudi king told people it was forbidden to HUNT game animals in Mecca. Otherwise, Haram means unclean. Everybody knows this.

I don’t know what game animals are found in a desert but people’s faith is unbreakable in the Wahabis and the Saudi king who knows how to use them.

The idols are still there after more than 14 centuries: Ka’ba, the Black Stone, the Stone of Abraham, etc but Muslims believe their men of God and the Saudi king who is very rich and powerful.

In fact, more than a billion people call themselves Muslims as ordered by Quran, a holy book full of Satanic verses as it acknowledges itself:

ﻓَﺈِﺫَﺍ ﻗَﺮَﺃْﺕَ ﺍﻟْﻘُﺮْﺁﻥَ ﻓَﺎﺳْﺘَﻌِﺬْ ﺑِﺎﻟﻠَّﻪِ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟﺸَّﻴْﻄَﺎﻥِ ﺍﻟﺮَّﺟِﻴﻢ

Translation: So if you read Quran, then seek God’s refuge from the devil.

And these Muslims turn their faces to Mecca, still, when serving ritual prayers, 5 times a day, that are not found anywhere in Quran but are a continuation of idol worship that’s also found in the Arab Jews of Sinai and Arab Christians of Ethiopia until this day.

They believe the fight was over cleaning the Shrine of Mecca of some 360 idols, an idol for each day of the year.

What year?

The Julian year consists of 365 or 366 days and the Islamic calendar later came up with a lunar year that consists of 354 or 355 days.

Why 360 idols?

Can anyone name even a single one of them?

Because even a dog gets a name!

What kind of gods & lords were these who had no names?

The truth is the idols are still there: Ka’ba, world’s largest idol, Abraham’s standpoint stone, the “holy water” of Zamzam and other idols in Arafat and Mina.

But Muslims are unaware, aren’t they?

The Great Escape

The Terrible Day of Judgement!

In a previous post, I posited that Jesus was not a good teacher, but a wicked one.

That’s what He told Joseph, the rich man, who had come to Him to see what else he could do to please God.

When Joseph met Jesus, he called Him “Good Teacher” and Jesus immediately corrected him, “Why do you call Me ‘good teacher’? Only God is good”.

Nobody understood why Jesus had corrected him but I know my biological Father so let me also tell you why Jesus corrected him: He didn’t want Joseph to become an ordinary follower.

He wanted to give him a special job. So He asked Joseph to give away all his belongings to the poor and follow Him. Joseph went away broken-hearted and Jesus said, “Verily I tell you it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.

Sounds like bad news, eh?

Nope. It’s good news like the rest of Gospel but no one knows.

Jesus was telling a wicked lie. He once said “Take My yoke; it’s light”
so how come you evil generation and preachers say rich men can’t go to heaven? Nothing is difficult for my Father, didn’t you know?

Jesus wanted Joseph to do one of history’s greatest jobs: To take care of His dead body and bury it in a grave befitting Jesus.

And that’s what Joseph did. Didn’t he?

No matter how difficult it may be for rich men to go to heaven, Jesus can do it. Can’t He?

He’s a wicked Lord so He first asked Joseph a terribly difficult thing to do and Joseph’s heart was broken.

Then He gave Joseph a terribly great job yet something terribly light for him.

Did you enjoy how my wicked Father plays with us?

Now the whole world thinks this way of Jesus’ Second Advent and The Judgement Day.

The sun will lose its light. The moon will crack and break apart. The stars will fall from heaven. The seas will catch fire. Water will become bitter. Rivers will dry. The mountains will turn to rubbles. There will be eclipses, earthquakes, pandemics and diseases will break out. The man will kill his brother. There will be wars and Armagiddon. The Anti-Christ will mislead all and shall rule the day.

Is it Jesus Christ that is coming or some evil?

Jesus said He will come in peace and secretly like a thief in the night.

Why do you evil preachers say He’ll come with great noise to scare women & children? Why do you evil generation believe such bad news?

Now let me shock you with my Good News. Blessed are those who shall believe the good news of The Lord and repent.

Jesus has already descended from heavens as He promised 2000 years ago. He descended in peace with his Father, the God, before the 2000 years completed of His first advent.

He descended at 3am, February 6, 1967, when I was born.

They came to protect me, the servant of women & children.

On my next birthday, at 3 am, Jeddah local time, I’m going to celebrate Judgement Day’s 50th anniversary.

No longer worry, Jesus and God are with us to bring World Peace, every woman’s dream.

They’re going to fix all that we’ve broken before we completely destroy this planet.

Spread the good news and let’s celebrate. Hallelujah!

The Terrible Day of Judgement!

Good And Bad Spoils of King Jesus

In an earlier post titled,  Baptism of Love,  I presented my theory of Correct Baptism and why Baptism with Water doesn’t work.

Herewith, see some examples of both Good and Bad examples of Jesus’ Baptism.

After Cain murdered his twin brother, Abel, he feared his mom and fled from the face of the Lord (his mom) eastward of Eden (Skopje).

He became a fugitive and a vagabond, stealing food and stuff until he reached Nod, Turkey.

Jesus met him there and told him his sin had made him a fugitive and a vagabond.

Cain complained of his harsh punishment. Jesus asked him to enter Nod and marry the girl he was going to fall in love with her.

He was led to his soulmate by Jesus.

As soon as Cain slept with his soulmate, the woman God had created from his rib, she filled his heart with love and the Holy Spirit descended upon him.

He was baptized with the fire of love and became a saint. He changed his name to Seth.

Therefore, anyone who’ll curse Cain will be cursed sevenfold.

Moses also killed an Egyptian and fled to Sinai where he found Ziporah, his soulmate, and was baptized by the fire of love.

Jacob stole the blessings that belonged to Esau and fled to his uncle, Laban.

He fell in love with Rachel but Jesus tricked him into first marrying Leah THEN Rachel.

When he returned to his mom, he sent his family and everyone else ahead. Then the strange boat guy (Jesus) wrestled with him all night to give Esau and his soulmate, Leah, time to sleep with each other.

Problems solved.

David married strange flesh. But one day, he saw Bethsheba, wife of his neighbor, Uriah, the Hittite.

He slept with her but was not baptized. He remained a sinner because Bethsheba was a married woman because David had also married strange flesh.

Adultery spoiled his baptism.

David then conspired and killed Uriah.

Uriah should have obeyed God-appointed king but he didn’t so God didn’t save him from death.

After Bethsheba became a widow and David slept with her, he was baptized and received the Holy Spirit, became a saint and no longer sinned.

His first sex with Bethsheba was a bad example of Baptism and it didn’t work. His later sex with her worked.

Lamech married two women and lied about becoming a saint and changed his name to Enoch. He killed two men AFTER acclaimed baptism and was killed by his wives, an act of God.

Ham also lied and changed his name to Canaan. He sinned AFTER his fake baptism and was cursed by Noah.

Anyone marrying strange flesh will also receive the curse of Canaan. He’ll become a slave of slaves.

God married me to my older brother’s soulmate and he tried day in, day out for years on end to find a way to sleep with her but failed because she was married to me and I’m a saint, already baptized since August 28, 1996.

He first tried to force me to marry someone else but failed.

After I married his soulmate, he and my wife tried to kill me but failed. They paid a shrink, locked me in a mental asylum who subjected me to electric shocks but failed.

They paid police to lodge a false case against me but failed. They paid doctors to kill me but failed. They paid a Mufti (religious judge) to declare me an apostate and hang me but failed.

My brother tried to bribe me with money but I refused.

He then offered his beautiful wife in exchange for a night with my wife but I still refused.

For years, my wife also tried to turn me away from God but she failed.

Finally, my wife made a deal with God.

Then God showed me a strange way to divorce my wife that you can read in the memoir series titled  My Strange Divorce.

It was impossible for me to divorce my wife but Jesus found a beautiful way.

My story is not fiction nor entertainment. It’s not about MY problem. It’s about ALL problems of the world.

note: This post is dedicated to  OneAnna65,  a survivor and my good reader.

Good And Bad Spoils of King Jesus

Losing My Soulmate – 9

This memoir starts from  The Flight From Casablanca.  Thank you.

I started taking Hamid with me to the mosque and we repaired a broken TV and an air-conditioner and our room became livable and my two younger brothers also moved in with us.

Now Hamid was safe from Abid’s continuous humiliations.

Our mom tried but found no girl for Abid. In 1987, Abid found a personal ad of a very beautiful girl named Zohra of Morocco, went to meet her and they got married.

Abid started bragging about his success but Zohra kept asking him for money but not agreeing to move to Saudi Arabia to live with Abid.

I asked Abid to pay her whatever she asked but he refused. After many tries, he gave up, went to Pakistan in August 1991 and hired the services of a lawyer to divorce her.

But she kept asking Abid for money. Abid moved to Pakistan in 1992 and let Hamid handle her requests for money.

Our mom then found a girl for Abid in Pakistan and he got married.

Now one can imagine how hard it was for Abid to get married, trying since 1982 and finally marrying in 1993. And that letter from Pakistani embassy in Morocco was jeopardizing his marriage in 1998.

All my brothers know how effective I am in writing applications.

Hence, by 1998, Abid finally decided to ask me for help. I asked him to show me that divorce letter.

It was a verbose, angry letter with many complaints and no mention of divorce. It just said “if you don’t come, I’ll assume as if nothing was between us”.

“There’s no ‘divorce’ word in this divorce letter,” I observed. That’s why she had continued asking Abid to pay her expenses!

Koran specifically asks men to pay their wives their expenses because women are always up to something good.

I then wrote a simple divorce letter with a polite apology for not being very expressive earlier and asked Abid to sign and send that letter to the Pakistani ambassador in Morocco.

Problem solved.

Zohra had a sick mother and she was in great need of money. That’s why she sacrificed and married Abid, a very repulsive, macho man.

Hamid was not done with me. He had a secret reason for me not to get deported to Pakistan. But now that I had dared to do that, he thought of killing me. It’s easy to kill people in lawless Pakistan.

He came to visit me in March and offered to take me to a tour of Islamabad, Murree and other northern areas and I agreed.

Everywhere, he tried to find someone to kill me and once, he tried to push me off the edge of a dam but the damn taxi driver was watching and that best chance was also lost and only then I realized his wicked plans.

He never again went to northern areas.

After failing to kill me, he tried to get me married to any girl except for the one he was afraid I intended to marry.

He just told all our relatives that I was in Pakistan to study Computer Science and they all started bringing their daughters because they knew I was a feminist and a mother’s servant.

It must have made Abid very jealous to see everyone trying to marry their daughters to me.

But God kept all girls away from me. I told Hamid and others God had promised me a special girl.

Hamid then tried to get me a scholarship in master’s program of CS in UPM but it failed as they gave the scholarship to an Indian applicant because he had secured higher marks in the Vocabulary section of GRE test!

I then found admission in University of Karachi’s Master of Computer Science Program.

After the first semester, Uncle Izhar suggested taking his children to Rawalpindi to visit his older brother, Irshad.

Hamid had been paying monthly handouts to Aunt Qudsia and Uncle Izhar and even Abid to keep me away from Uncle Irshad and his daughter, Saima, but they ended up helping me marry Saima.

Every trick they played to keep me from marrying Saima only made that Promised Marriage take place.

You can read my memoirs titled  My Cinderella and My Promised Girl  series for more details.

This concludes my story of losing my soulmate.

Losing My Soulmate – 9

My Strange Divorce – 9

This memoir starts from  My Cinderella.  Thank you.

Now I had read Bible thrice and understood very little of it by that time so I told Jameel that according to Torah, a divorce had to be in writing, hence there was no need of a Halala.

I told him his sister was still married and could go back to her husband and there was no need for wasting money on marrying her to me and then, after I divorce her, marrying her back to her husband.

Those who have cared to read my memoir series titled FINDING MY SOULMATE already know how I had tried to find a cheating wife in Jordan and how Jesus had prevented me from doing that, and still had punished me for thinking about it.

I find this wicked habit of Jesus of first not allowing me to commit a sin and then punishing me for thinking of it very amusing and I enjoy His punishments and like to tell the world about my failed attempts at sin and Jesus’s punishments.

Jameel listened politely to my lecture in God’s ways and went away light-hearted. I thought he had understood and agreed with me and was no longer interested in a halala.

In September, 2014, I once earned Rs220 but my boss kept all money and only gave me Rs50. He used to give me 33% while others used to give 50% and also treat their workers in a nice way.

I once told him about my financial troubles and he promised to give me 50% but he had said that to cheat me.

I went home on foot to save money. I used to eat Paratha, a delicious oily bread, which was the cheapest food.

Only single men eat dinner at restaurants.

On that night, Waqar, the owner of that restaurant, decided to talk me into marrying his sister as I look like an attractive suitor for everyone and my poverty only adds to my attractiveness.

But he failed to show respect for his poor sister.

“We need a man for the ‘night job'”, that’s how he put it and I felt disgusted.

He realized his rudeness and asked me to talk to his father in the morning.

I had no interest in getting married because the torture I had suffered on my wife’s hands during my 12 years of marriage.

But my wicked boss had robbed me of a lot of money and I was left with only Rs7 on me. I was Rs3 short for a bus ticket to my office.

It’s very hot during the day and very inconvenient to walk the 3 km (2 miles) to the Real Estate office.

So I went to the Cafe al-Hasan nearby my house and met Ibrahim, Waqar’s father.

I told him I came because I was Rs3 short of a bus ticket back to office.

His son had briefed him about me and my disgust of calling marriage “the night job”. So he decided to cover up his son’s mistake.

“Waqar is my oldest son and I didn’t let him complete his education and instead, let him work with me. His younger brothers are getting education and it hurts me to see him without any degree.

“I work the day shift while Waqar works the night shift. I need a trustworthy guy like you to take charge of the night shift so that Waqar can continue his education.”

That’s how he tricked me into not running away.

I’m an easily-confused guy so I was fooled into believing that I had unnecessarily misunderstood Waqar and by “night job”, he had not meat SEX but NIGHT SHIFT job of running their restaurant.

So I accepted to work for them and he offered me to eat free lunch and dinners besides Rs6000 salary.

He wanted me to work from 8pm till 8am, seven days a week for Rs6000.

God didn’t like such a punishing schedule for a guy who had no one to help him in his household duties.

So two weeks earlier, I had found a job as a school teacher in Dua Children Academy just behind Cafe al-Hasan.

I’m a jolly teacher who likes to entertain children and who also likes to tell them God’s ways and about Good and Evil.

One Friday, a nice adult student who had beard & mustache but was in class 9, asked me to come close.

He whispered in my ear “What are menstrual cycles?”

It’s not good to leave children unaware because they then ask their peers or go search Internet and end up on erotic sites and illicit sex.

“Each month girls lay a tiny egg. If it’s not used, their body gets rid of it along with a little blood and other nourishing fluids for the fertilized egg. For a few days each month, the girls bleed. That’s called Menstrual Cycle.”

I didn’t want him to tell these things to young children and confuse them so I asked him not to tell anyone else and he nodded in agreement.

This memoir continues   here.

My Strange Divorce – 9

Who Stole My Soap Bar?

One night, God sent His angel and I saw a strange dream.

I was standing on something like an island. A school bus came wading through dirty water and a girl stepped down and asked me for the toilet and I apologized as my toilet was full and out of order.

She strangely rode above the bus’s roof as some boys do in Karachi. I was surprised at that girl’s boyish ways.

There were several boys also in that school bus but none had a need to use the toilet.

I thought of putting a large sign board to tell all visiting buses that my toilet was full and out of order for the convenience of girls, especially.

Then I woke up, tried to understand that strange dream but failed and I went back to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, it was a beautiful day. I woke up and went to my washing area where I keep my water tank.

Much to my surprise, I found out that my soap bar was missing along with its plastic case. That was strange.

Rats had earlier stolen my soap bars but not the plastic holder so I looked under my water tank but there was no sign of my soap bar there.

I looked elsewhere, in case the rat had dragged the soap outside but there was no sign of the soap nor its case anywhere.

I washed my hands with water only and drank a cup of tea. I had been living without food for several days as I had run out of all money and God had shut all doors of income on my face.

I tried to solve the mystery of my missing soap bar.

A rat walks on four legs. It needs another two legs to carry a soap bar. But a rat only got four legs, not six.

Only a man got two hands to carry a soap bar and still be able to walk. But what kind of a thief would steal a soap bar and leave other, more expensive stuff alone?

He must got a problem with my soap! “Funny thief,” I thought.

After that breakfast, God sent His angel again and I went to sleep and had a second vision.

I saw a guy who looked like my oldest brother, Abid, and he was very angry at me.

Then I realized he was angry because I was sitting in his way to the toilet. I was having my meal. I moved to make way for him to go to the toilet.

Then I woke up.

I went to my front door neighbor and found my neighbor Hanif’s wife. I asked her about Hanif. She was terribly frightened and she asked me what was wrong.

I told her about my stolen soap bar and Hanif’s brother came running and asked me angrily “Why would we steal your soap bar?”

I couldn’t talk about such things to that unmarried brother nor to Hanif’s young wife. So after a second of thinking, I just asked Hanif’s wife to let Hanif or his mother meet me.

Here’s the solution to the Mystery of My Missing Soap Bar.

God has made me a jolly attractive male. Hanif is one of those who have tried to marry their sisters to me. His sister had boyish ways and hence, I openly told her about my Monia, my soulmate whom God had created from my rib.

A toilet means one’s need to solve a problem. The roads full of dirty water meant bad waters. The bus means a family or a community.

Hanif was very angry at my rejection of his sister. He thought of stealing my soap, which men without a woman use to cool themselves up.

He wanted me to stop making use of soaps and agree to marry his sister so he thought of stealing my bloody soap!

Continues  here. 

Who Stole My Soap Bar?