My Strange Divorce – 3

This memoir starts from  My Cinderella.  Thank you.

“I’m pennyless. How can I come?” I asked Abid.

“Take a rikshaw and I’ll pay him Rs150” was his answer.

I couldn’t believe this sudden change of heart.

I took a rickshaw.

Then I received a text from my wife asking me how was my birthday gift (it was February 6th) so Hamid had been working hard against me and she was mocking my birthday.

I told her I was riding a rikshaw like a king, going back to Abid’s on his invitation, at his cost.

She immediately tried to find me a place in an Islamic religious seminary in that neighborhood but she failed.

She wanted me to become a pious Muslim so that her accusations and her plans would materialize but my God is a jealous Lord and she fell prey to her own plans.

When I arrived back at Abid’s, I found him arguing with his wife for calling him while he was driving his car.

She said she had no way to know where he was and if he was driving, he shouldn’t have picked the phone or used hands-free but Abid was terrified by her call and he picked up the phone, putting his life in danger and he behaved like a fool.

He wanted his poor wife to take responsibility of his folly and apologize but his wife won’t apologize for something wrong Abid did.

Let me tell you what happened.

When Abid evicted me out of his house in 2001, he had resigned from NRL to escape charges of corruption and lost face in the neighborhood where he used to enjoy good reputation.

Only one neighbor was left who respected him. That neighbor’s wife, Atia, knew of my arrival back in great misery on February 2, 2014.

She called Shehnaz and asked her about my whereabouts. When Shehnaz told her about Abid’s decision to evict me again, she rebuked them very harshly for their evil.

Shehnaz didn’t want Abid to lose their last friendly neighbor so she called Abid immediately to avert losing their only friendly neighbor.

Abid decided to ignore that call as he was on the road.

God then sent Michael (God’s Power), His mighty angel, to kill Abid for his cruelty.

A great fear fell upon Abid and he immediately picked up the phone and did exactly as Michael told him to do.

But now he wanted his wife to take the blame and apologize on God’s behalf.

She didn’t.

She couldn’t, could she?

This frustrated Abid because he had already told everyone about his stupid act of answering a phone while on the road and almost getting himself killed.

It’s interesting to see the devils fall in their own traps and then getting frustrated, isn’t it?

Now it was very tempting for Abid to place the blame of his corruption in NRL on me. Hamid was keeping close contact with him to help him out.

Their plan was perfect.

In lieu of providing me with shelter, I’d take the blame of Abid’s corruption and subsequent misfortunes.

He first blamed my joblessness for my wife’s crimes. Out of 12 years of marriage, I had worked for only a year.

Since my advent to Pakistan 16 years ago, I had only worked for some 16 months.

He advised me to find a job because my wife “had not committed a crime by withholding food for 30 days or stealing my legal documents & certificates but had just tried to discipline me”, he argued.

That was very evil but I let him lay his traps on me and see who gets trapped.

He asked me to immediately start a job search. He told me jobs were to be found in Dawn Classified.

He then called my wife and invited her to his house next day and she promised to think it over.

I know my cousins. When they “promise to consider”, they mean “we’re not interested”. It’s a very gentle way but it really pisses people off.

So Abid had an important funeral to attend but waited whole Sunday for my wife to show up.

She didn’t show up.

This pissed him off.

It’s interesting to see the devils gettin their “perfect” plans frustrated.

He felt great humiliation because she showed no respect of him.

I was anticipating that humiliation but I wasn’t in a position to illuminate him of the ways of my wife because I had already been accused of not understanding anything. He assured me of her arrival so it was no use arguing with him.

Now that his accusations had failed, I started my job search.

I found a lucrative job as head of a marketing team that was a night shift job.

Since Karachi was weathering a gang war with frequent public transport shut downs, the employer suggested borrowing my brother’s car that lied idle during the night.

Abid fell prey to his own craftiness. He had two cars but they were too new and expensive.

He fell prey to his own craftiness.

Continues  here.

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My Strange Divorce – 3

My Promised Girl – Part I

In case you have not done already, kindly read the 2-part post My Cinderella first. Thanks.

If you tell the world that you broke glass using a stone because you had the power of the Holy Spirit, then how will they know that you’re telling the truth?

They’ll not disbelieve because they’re evil but they’ll not believe simply because anyone can break glass using a stone.

There’s nothing strange about that. There’s no need to have Godly powers to do usual stuff, is there?

But if you can break a solid rock using a fragile glass, then people will be shocked and believe because only God can do such a thing.

Now I was a Muslim and had little knowledge of God when God promised me a girl when I went to jail in late 1997.

I didn’t know God was going to first make it impossible for me to marry her so that when I’ll marry her, regardless, people will know my God is a Lord.

Hence, when God’s angel came to me in December 2000, asking me to visit my elder uncle, Irshad, in Rawalpindi because there was a good chance that he was going to help me marry a Pashtu-like girl, He had first made it impossible.

Uncle’s eldest daughter, Safia, hated evil, patriarchal Pakistan and was in a hurry to immigrate to some advanced country who show more respect of women.

She was in a hurry and she was desperate.

She made several dangerous attempts, risking herself but failed.

She even attempted suicide but was rescued.

On one beautiful day, she told her father that he needed a second honey-moon and he liked her idea and went shopping with his wife!

She then went upstairs, scaled the 6-feet wall and jumped some 12 feet below on neighbor’s roof.

Her parents had locked the front door from outside and had asked all her 4 siblings to keep watch over her lest she makes another attempt at suicide.

But she knew a loophole and had carefully planned to manipulate it to run away to an immigration agent or a human trafficker — we don’t know.

She sustained a fracture in her right ankle but that was hardly a problem.

But the damn door… the neighbor’s door of the stairs was locked.

It was never locked but someone really stupid had locked it on that day.

She double checked the damn door in total disbelief.

It was not stuck, it was locked.

With fractured ankle, she didn’t quite feel in mood to jump another 12 feet to the street.

After careful assessment of the situation, she gave up and knocked on the damn door.

The neighbors were shocked to meet a guest from skies but they knew enough of her stories.

They gave her some first aid while discreetly calling her father’s cellular.

Hence, at my arrival, Safia, her father’s firstborn had taken her father’s “anxiety & worries” to a whole new level.

Understandably, he received the news of my arrival with a great sigh of relief.

He had known me from childhood as an extremely obedient nephew.

Nothing could go wrong anymore. I was God-sent, he was sure.

That’s why he aggressively wanted me to marry Safia.

But his wife and his second daughter, Saima, disagreed.

Man, will we ever understand women?

God was with women, not men, as usual.

That’s what the Terminator T-800 learned the hard way. But learn he did.

But even if you obey God, it’s still impossible to understand His ways.

Therefore, on the third day of my arrival, I had an evil dream.

I saw my stern boss, Sheridah, had locked me in a room with two cute boys. He wanted me to Sodomize them.

I was unable to control myself and almost kissed one of them when I remembered God and asked Him for help and He woke me up.

Phew, that was some nightmare!

I thanked God for saving me from morally-depraved dream but I still had ejaculated out of divine pornography & masturbation.

It was damn cold in Rawalpindi for me and I was wearing dark pajamas so I went back to sleep and changed in the morning.

My wife told me after marriage how everyone had known my little secret that night!

Damn, it’s hard to keep secrets in Pakistan and I’m a careless guy who doesn’t feel ashamed.

My uncle decided to put that weakpoint to good use.

He went to Karachi while his wife offered me a few nights with the other two damsels in nearby Murree — something very unusual in conservative Pakistan.

Since I and Saima were trying to develop our love story, this f*ck trip was our nightmare come true!

This post continues here. . Thanks.

My Promised Girl – Part I

Finding My Soulmate – 7

This story begins .here.

I had my next vacations in 1995.

And God gave me the next hint, “She’s in a small Arabic country” and I planned a trip to Jordan.

When I was a boy, a Pakistani barber once told me nymphs and mermaids lived in Jordan.

But my second elder brother, Zakir, wanted me to visit Pakistan to help him complete heirship document for our deceased parents.

I first got a tourist visa to Jordan and then went on a week’s trip to Pakistan and stayed at al-Andalus House, our eldest brother’s house.

My Pakistan mission failed.

Hamid was watching.

He’s always watching me… closely yet secretly.

He discreetly called Abid and tipped to him to hold me for one more week, to completely lay waste to my 2-weeks’ vacations.

Abid had reasons to like that tip.

I consulted Zakir using Abid’s telephone and he advised me to get another week from my employer. I again used Abid’s line to call my employer in Jeddah and got another week.

I kept that a secret.

Abid’s wife doesn’t understand Arabic and I had made all calls in Arabic.

I went to ALIA (Royal Jordanian)’s office and postponed my flight to Jordan by one week.

After Abid dropped me off at airport with a wicked, wide smile across his face, I waited a while for him to return home.

Then I called him from inside the airport and told him about extension in vacations and how I used his phone, his house, his wife and him to drop me in his car.

I told him there were no flights to Jeddah, I was going to Amman.

He was dumbfounded and had nothing to say.

Upon my safe arrival to Amman and getting some rest, I asked a taxi driver about Air ALIA’s office to confirm my flight back to Jeddah.

He confused me when he mentioned a hill in the address of their offices. I asked him to take me to that office on a hill.

I found a very beautiful damsel in the office and her name was Taghreed (birdsong or chirp).

I asked her out but she was a conservative girl who marry whoever their parents choose for them.

Instead of feeling mercy for her, I felt insulted. I used to feel frustrated with Burqa-clad girls of Saudi Arabia who go into a black head-to-toe turban since age 6.

My anger kindled against women.

I first asked the taxi driver to show me a “good” girl, a prostitute who doesn’t mind extra-marital sex.

He asked me to wait for him till 9pm.

He took me to a night club.

There were two girls wearing shorts and dancing on some romantic music. We were alone there with a Saudi rich client.

After enjoying their dance show, I went out. The taxi driver had told me they were expensive and I couldn’t compete with that rich Saudi.

I left both girls to the asshole.

We then went on a tour of the ruins of the Romans, the ruins of Petra and the ruins or the dead sea of Sodom & Gomorrah and reached Aqaba.

There was a hill in Aqaba also.

I went there but it was another desert and just a tad better than the ruins of Petra.

Then my anger kindled against God.

He had fooled me. There were no girls in Bursa de Turkey nor on any hill or mountain of Jordan.

I asked a local taxi driver to show me a cheating wife.

Yes, a cheating wife.

He knew 3.

The first was occupied.

The second was no longer in business.

The third asked us to wait for her husband to go out to drink.

We waited and waited and waited but her stupid husband won’t go out to drink that night.

At last, I lost hope.

I told my young, handsome taxi driver that if he failed to find me a girl that night, I was going to fuck him instead!

He looked at me with eyes wide open out of fear…

then we burst into a laugh!

The first taxi driver had ripped me off all money and there were no international ATM machines in Jordan.

This story continues .here.

Finding My Soulmate – 7

Finding My Soulmate

This is a sterilized story that starts here .

In late February, 1993, I was fired from Management Information Center for advocating “inferior” technology of PCs to Group’s companies in disregard of their heavy investment in IBM mainframes.

My younger brother, Rashid, went to Instanbul for undergraduate studies. But he was having myterious, infinite problems.

I had helped him get admission in my university, KSU (King Saud University) but he had rejected it.

“It looks like baby poop”, that’s how he had described the university and the city, Riyadh.

I had to agree because he had told a truth but wasn’t that a little immature reason to reject free undergraduate studies?

Hamid, my elder brother, told me his plans to tour Syria. I asked him to also include a tour of Turkey to help our poor younger brother.

But he’s a little different sort of a guy. He remembered how Rashid had called our KSU “baby poop”.

After his return from Syria, he told me about a weird incident.

On the last day of his perfect tour, he found a beautiful scene and stopped to take a snap.

Out of the blue came a uniformed officer. He informed my brother that he had violated the law by taking a snap of a classified premises.

“How’s that?” my brother wondered.

The officer showed him a building in the background that looked spooky and had certainly appeared in the shot.

Hamid had to admire that officer.. for his politeness.

He told Hamid he could book him indefinitely on charges of spying. That could ruin his career in Saudi Arabia where he worked for P&G.

But the officer made him a terrible offer. “If you give me your camera, I’ll just pull out the reel and return the camera back to you right away.. and you can walk away with your ‘crime’.”

That was a terribly good offer in notorious Syria. So Hamid thanked that officer for his politeness. But the snaps..

The snaps were lost.

When I heard that weird story, I felt sorry but knew it was God’s mysterious way to correct him for not agreeing to help Rashid. God only corrects good people.

Weird God!

Hamid was also very happy for my inferior job as Data Entry Operator in Dallah Telecom as he dislikes equality.

When it came the time of Hajj holidays, I went to Turkey.

God then reminded me of That Girl (I had seen in 1983) and told me she was in a tourist country.

I asked my colleagues for some advice and got full briefing.. in where to find prostitutes and the correct way to bargain for more than half an hour!

See, I’m an idiot with small brain and all loose screws. I only learned women’s genitals were different from a man’s less than a year ago (God had helped me order porn from Sexy Software — nice guys and girls there.)

So I deserved a COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE, didn’t I?

And God had kindly provided that.

Turned out my brother Rashid just suffered from racist Turks in the dormitory so I gave him some $220 and his Indian friends were so excited, they gave him a dedicated room in their apartment and also gave me a royal tour of Istanbul.

They also made sure their royal guest was… kept away from bad girls!

(This story continues here .)

Finding My Soulmate

Adam & Eve

We all have heard this story. The oldest of stories. The scholars have been trying to decipher it but I believe we can never understand this story on our own.

However, I can tell you what this story means because Jesus explained it to me through a demonstration. My life is full of tragedies that explain Bible.

One story God blessed me with was my strange wife and her strange lover that explains the story of Adam & Eve.

Since the earliest days, my wife told me she was going to fight me. I tried my best to avoid the inevitable but I failed. For 12 years I tried to love my wife with all my heart & soul but failed. My false, man-made love lost to my wife’s holy love. Thank God.

After 9 months of losing my wife, God sent an angel and I saw a vision. I saw my villain. He was my brother, Hamid, who lives in Saudi Arabia!

I had married his ‘woman’, his soul mate and he silently sacrificed and also agreed to help me financially because that’s what God wanted him to do and he trusted God.

Then I told both my wife and my brother the secret of their strange attraction and they were shocked to learn the truth. Till then, they fool never knew the other also loved them.

Here is the truth: for each of us, God creates a woman from our rib. “Woman” means “from-man”,
perhaps the only true English translation of a Hebrew word, Ish-ah.

The story says God created Adam from dust and put him in a garden in the east i.e. in Greece. But Adam was lonely and God saw that it was not good for man to be sad & blue. He first brought all kinds of animals to Adam and Adam gave them names. And whatever name Adam gave to each animal, that was its name i.e. God liked those names because they were true and correctly defined each animal unlike English names.

Adam saw how each animal had a pair but he had no one to pair with. Then God sent a deep sleep over Adam, took one of his ribs and created a woman from that rib. A woman is not created from dust but from flesh & bone, despite what scientists will tell you.

Then God brought that woman to Adam to see what name he shall give to her. Adam said “Now this is a bone of my bone and a flesh of my flesh so I’ll call her ‘woman’ and I’ll call this woman Eve (Giver-of-life)”.

Why create a clone from our rib?

Because each animal is one species so a lion can pair with any lioness — both share same personality.

But mankind is not one species but each man is a different & unique person.

I love the blue color but my wife loves the pink color. So each morning, I paint my house blue and go to work but when I return home in the evening, I find out my wife has colored my house pink.

God created Eve to be a helper for Adam but my wife is more like a Pink Panther to me. We all have married strange flesh. We all have violated women’s rights. Hence, there will be no World Peace, despite UNO’s promises.

God said “Let’s create man in our image.. Man and Woman created them He” Does that mean God has a wife? No. As God and His son are one and indistinguishable from each other, never separated from each other, so He creates for each one of us someone to love and bond with for eternity.

That’s how the Original Script used to be and there was World Peace.

Then Sons of God (rulers) saw that daughters of (ordinary) men were beautiful and they married whatever women they liked (lust).

World Peace was lost.

And the problem kept compounding so God sent a Deluge to save women and World Peace was restored… for a while.

Now the kind of love between Adam & Eve is holy and strange that’s why none of us understood it. Not me, not my brothers, and not anyone else.

Hence, Jesus Christ explained it to me through my life’s stories.

My wife asked God and He advised her to marry me, not my brother, Hamid. She took great leap of faith and married her lover’s brother. She easily sacrificed her love for the sake of God.

Hamid put up a great resistance through other brothers and sisters but when he poor learned his Saima wanted to marry his brother, he helped us financially. This strange tendency to sacrifice makes this love even holier and deserves a separate post.

I will tell you more details and about the demonstration.

But is my explanation clear or is it still ambiguous? I’d like you to tell me what parts are ambiguous.

Thank you.

Adam & Eve