Who Stole My Soap Bar?

One night, God sent His angel and I saw a strange dream.

I was standing on something like an island. A school bus came wading through dirty water and a girl stepped down and asked me for the toilet and I apologized as my toilet was full and out of order.

She strangely rode above the bus’s roof as some boys do in Karachi. I was surprised at that girl’s boyish ways.

There were several boys also in that school bus but none had a need to use the toilet.

I thought of putting a large sign board to tell all visiting buses that my toilet was full and out of order for the convenience of girls, especially.

Then I woke up, tried to understand that strange dream but failed and I went back to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, it was a beautiful day. I woke up and went to my washing area where I keep my water tank.

Much to my surprise, I found out that my soap bar was missing along with its plastic case. That was strange.

Rats had earlier stolen my soap bars but not the plastic holder so I looked under my water tank but there was no sign of my soap bar there.

I looked elsewhere, in case the rat had dragged the soap outside but there was no sign of the soap nor its case anywhere.

I washed my hands with water only and drank a cup of tea. I had been living without food for several days as I had run out of all money and God had shut all doors of income on my face.

I tried to solve the mystery of my missing soap bar.

A rat walks on four legs. It needs another two legs to carry a soap bar. But a rat only got four legs, not six.

Only a man got two hands to carry a soap bar and still be able to walk. But what kind of a thief would steal a soap bar and leave other, more expensive stuff alone?

He must got a problem with my soap! “Funny thief,” I thought.

After that breakfast, God sent His angel again and I went to sleep and had a second vision.

I saw a guy who looked like my oldest brother, Abid, and he was very angry at me.

Then I realized he was angry because I was sitting in his way to the toilet. I was having my meal. I moved to make way for him to go to the toilet.

Then I woke up.

I went to my front door neighbor and found my neighbor Hanif’s wife. I asked her about Hanif. She was terribly frightened and she asked me what was wrong.

I told her about my stolen soap bar and Hanif’s brother came running and asked me angrily “Why would we steal your soap bar?”

I couldn’t talk about such things to that unmarried brother nor to Hanif’s young wife. So after a second of thinking, I just asked Hanif’s wife to let Hanif or his mother meet me.

Here’s the solution to the Mystery of My Missing Soap Bar.

God has made me a jolly attractive male. Hanif is one of those who have tried to marry their sisters to me. His sister had boyish ways and hence, I openly told her about my Monia, my soulmate whom God had created from my rib.

A toilet means one’s need to solve a problem. The roads full of dirty water meant bad waters. The bus means a family or a community.

Hanif was very angry at my rejection of his sister. He thought of stealing my soap, which men without a woman use to cool themselves up.

He wanted me to stop making use of soaps and agree to marry his sister so he thought of stealing my bloody soap!

Continues  here. 

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Who Stole My Soap Bar?

Losing My Soulmate – 2

This memoir starts from  The Flight From Casablanca.  Thank you.

I gave that troublesome question due time and thought.

“OK. If Monia comes between us, I’ll shoot her dead” was my answer to God.

I mean what if she died in an accident as indeed happened in the movie City of Angels? What if she no longer loved me? She was useless without God, wasn’t she?

That night I was visited by the angel of God (whom Jews call Gabriel) and I saw two dreams.

In the first dream I saw I was in the backyard of a house.

There was a sauna bathroom atop several steps.

I saw Monia coming out of the sauna bath and down the stairs.

When she came down, I saw my mom. She held Monia’s elbow and showed it to me “Look, she’s clean now” said my mom.

I looked and indeed it was clean.

Then I woke up and knew she no longer suffered panic attacks nor shied from going to her mom.

I thanked God and went back to sleep.

That’s when God frightened me with a nightmare.

I saw I was entering a room. It had no furniture. Monia and her aunt were sleeping on the naked floor.

I approached Monia silently and touched her gently to ask her to come with me.

When she woke up and turned her face to me, she had changed and her face was very frightening.

I screamed and sat up awoke.

I looked around but thankfully, no one had awakened by my scream.

I knew she was going to turn down my marriage proposal and say bad things.

I asked God to give me a chance. I could convince her, I assured God.

He told me she was going to miss her mother.

I said I was ready to move to Morocco and not take her away from her mom.

He said she doesn’t understand my language.

I decided to buy a Moroccan course to learn her language.

I then applied for my 1997 vacations in late May. I bought some gifts and took checks of Dh14,000 ($1400) cash.

Telegroup refused to give me a coordinator agreement and instead, suggested I just do sales & marketing for them in Morocco.

That was totally unfair. They wanted me to market their services for free.

When I arrived Casablanca, I called Monia but she wasn’t home. Omar once told me to tell her “I’ve played this trick on others before you” in Moroccan.

But I knew enough Moroccan to understand what it meant.

Omar also introduced me to a harlot who offered to give me free below job but I showed no interest. Lustful girls freak me out.

Finally, Monia arrived back to her home in Immouzzer and we went to meet her.

After a few days, I proposed to her and she said “I know you’re married but want me to be your keep girl”.

That hurt.

I knew it was Omar who had asked her to say such bad things but didn’t she know I loved her?

She then showed me the brutal injuries she had sustained on her head and thigh and said something I didn’t quite understand at the time.

I gave the gifts to her aunt and also the cash and she blessed me and asked me not to trust Omar anymore.

I knew that already. That’s why I didn’t let Omar know of the gifts nor the cash.

I returned with a broken heart to Casablanca.

God then asked me to call Sue Pace of The Mail Post and ask her to forward the Sinclair videos to Omar’s address in Casablanca.

I opened the VHS tapes’ cases and put the reels in a black plastic bag and placed the bag in my suitcase.

I went downstairs to take a leak and I overheard Omar arguing with a girl on the ground floor.

When I returned back to my room, a girl entered my room and introduced herself to me, “Hi. I’m Khadija, Omar’s younger sister”.

I returned her greeting, introduced myself and asked her about her cousin.

She was engaged to her maternal cousin whom Omar despised and he had been trying to break that engagement and marry her to me.

That was his secret. That’s why he served me with honesty and that’s why he hated Monia and Immouzzer and tried to introduce me to Casablanca and its girls.

That’s why God had asked me not to sleep with any girls in Casablanca.

God my Lord is a jealous Lord. It’s good news that He’s so jealous that He never lets anyone use me for nefarious purposes.

Khadija was engaged to a cousin she liked but Omar tried to fool me, cut me from Monia and force his poor sister to marry a rich guy to earn some undue money from me through Khadija.

That’s why God is always with women, not men. “Hearts of men are evil and their minds are deceptive”~ Bible.

Continue  here.

Losing My Soulmate – 2

Finding My Soulmate – 7

This story begins .here.

I had my next vacations in 1995.

And God gave me the next hint, “She’s in a small Arabic country” and I planned a trip to Jordan.

When I was a boy, a Pakistani barber once told me nymphs and mermaids lived in Jordan.

But my second elder brother, Zakir, wanted me to visit Pakistan to help him complete heirship document for our deceased parents.

I first got a tourist visa to Jordan and then went on a week’s trip to Pakistan and stayed at al-Andalus House, our eldest brother’s house.

My Pakistan mission failed.

Hamid was watching.

He’s always watching me… closely yet secretly.

He discreetly called Abid and tipped to him to hold me for one more week, to completely lay waste to my 2-weeks’ vacations.

Abid had reasons to like that tip.

I consulted Zakir using Abid’s telephone and he advised me to get another week from my employer. I again used Abid’s line to call my employer in Jeddah and got another week.

I kept that a secret.

Abid’s wife doesn’t understand Arabic and I had made all calls in Arabic.

I went to ALIA (Royal Jordanian)’s office and postponed my flight to Jordan by one week.

After Abid dropped me off at airport with a wicked, wide smile across his face, I waited a while for him to return home.

Then I called him from inside the airport and told him about extension in vacations and how I used his phone, his house, his wife and him to drop me in his car.

I told him there were no flights to Jeddah, I was going to Amman.

He was dumbfounded and had nothing to say.

Upon my safe arrival to Amman and getting some rest, I asked a taxi driver about Air ALIA’s office to confirm my flight back to Jeddah.

He confused me when he mentioned a hill in the address of their offices. I asked him to take me to that office on a hill.

I found a very beautiful damsel in the office and her name was Taghreed (birdsong or chirp).

I asked her out but she was a conservative girl who marry whoever their parents choose for them.

Instead of feeling mercy for her, I felt insulted. I used to feel frustrated with Burqa-clad girls of Saudi Arabia who go into a black head-to-toe turban since age 6.

My anger kindled against women.

I first asked the taxi driver to show me a “good” girl, a prostitute who doesn’t mind extra-marital sex.

He asked me to wait for him till 9pm.

He took me to a night club.

There were two girls wearing shorts and dancing on some romantic music. We were alone there with a Saudi rich client.

After enjoying their dance show, I went out. The taxi driver had told me they were expensive and I couldn’t compete with that rich Saudi.

I left both girls to the asshole.

We then went on a tour of the ruins of the Romans, the ruins of Petra and the ruins or the dead sea of Sodom & Gomorrah and reached Aqaba.

There was a hill in Aqaba also.

I went there but it was another desert and just a tad better than the ruins of Petra.

Then my anger kindled against God.

He had fooled me. There were no girls in Bursa de Turkey nor on any hill or mountain of Jordan.

I asked a local taxi driver to show me a cheating wife.

Yes, a cheating wife.

He knew 3.

The first was occupied.

The second was no longer in business.

The third asked us to wait for her husband to go out to drink.

We waited and waited and waited but her stupid husband won’t go out to drink that night.

At last, I lost hope.

I told my young, handsome taxi driver that if he failed to find me a girl that night, I was going to fuck him instead!

He looked at me with eyes wide open out of fear…

then we burst into a laugh!

The first taxi driver had ripped me off all money and there were no international ATM machines in Jordan.

This story continues .here.

Finding My Soulmate – 7