Who Stole My Soap Bar? – Part 2

In the first post by this name,   Who Stole My Soap Bar?  I told a story of my neighbor, Hanif, who had stolen my soap bar because he wanted me to marry his sister, Fahmidah.

In fact, he’s so desperate to marry me to that beautiful damsel that he is ready to go to any length.

But I’m not going to marry that girl whom I’v always loved.

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Jurlene, my Bible Teacher, once chastised me for such adventures.

She was right when she said “Berni, didn’t I ask you to stop your adventures with women? They give you heartaches and worsen your insomnia problem.”

Poor Jurlene. I failed to obey her because I don’t fear evil.

I enjoy evil — even if it gives me heartache.

When I’m up to something good, I don’t care about storms nor tornadoes. What’s a heartache to stop me from doing the will of God?

She once likened me to “Samson” (The Invincible) because she fool said I had a bad eye for women, like Samson!

How evil on the part of my Bible Teacher!

How dare she judge the Judge of Israel?

Samson had committed no error when he married Delilah, the Palestinian woman.

God wanted him to do that to strike terror in the hearts of bloody Palestinians and teach them to respect the God of Jews — even if they had learned the secret of Samson’s incredible powers.

So my Bible Teacher used to believe the false doctrine of Jesus Christ dying for our sins and hence, she thought that this gave her a license to judge people and commit sins!

What evidence she had against me? I kept telling her about women showing lust in me and my fishing them for God but she thought I had a bad eye for women. How disgusting these teachers are!

There’s always some wisdom of God in my life’s adventures and she should have known that it’s impossible for us to understand God’s wisdom unless He explains it to us and He doesn’t explain to sinners, does He?

Why then she did evil and tried to judge me instead of asking me to explain myself?

In particular, why do they do evil and try to find error with the prophets, the judges and even God himself?

And if teachers and preachers of Bible can find error with the judges and prophets of Bible — which they believe is the word of God — will they not find errors with you? Will they not judge you?

Don’t these evil idiots read about Pharisees finding error with the prostitute who had come to listen to the word of God and Jesus’ refusing to judge her and even saving her from the death penalty?

Jesus, the Word of God, refuses to judge a known prostitute but these “holy” teachers and preachers will even find error with God.

That’s why I’m an outlaw and hated by many teachers and most preachers.

So why Hanif is so hell-bent on marrying me to his beautiful sister?

Why me?

When my wife threw me out of my apartment in February, 2014, I asked her where to go and she suggested I move to my brother, Abid’s.

I had no other place to go to. So I moved to Abid’s although I despise his insolence.

After two months of giving me hell, he once thought of glorifying Ka’ba, the largest idol of the world that is worshipped by Muslims.

I had once mentioned my amusement of God sending a flock of nightingales dropping stones on an army of elephants sent to destroy Ka’ba in 1998, completely shattering the elephants into pieces (Koran:105).

He decided to remind me of that amazing story (to show me how my conversion to Christianity was at fault.)

I asked him if they could ever find an archeological evidence of that army.

“No. It was completely shattered into pieces,” he answered.

“And what about the pots and the armors? You know, such a huge army doesn’t move empty-handed?”

“Everything must have been shattered” he answered in bewilderment.

“So it’s a false story, isn’t it?”

He was dumbfounded.

But his religious bigotry made him mad at me.

Next day, he tried to turn his humiliation into a victory.

At dinner, he accused me of being an idiot for having glorified Ka’ba in 1998. I said “I did it on purpose.”

That really infuriated him and his blood pressure shot up and he swallowed his pills.

He fool thought I trapped him since 1998! How could I’ve done that on my own? It was God who lays these traps.

My conversion to Christianity is both the reason of my troubles as well as the vehicle of my greatest victories — like Joseph, son of Israel.

Continues   here.


Losing My Soulmate – 4

This memoir starts from  The Flight From Casablanca.  Thank you.

A nice investigator named Abdullah quizzed me:

Education: Graduate.

Status: Bachelor.

Q: Did you know about the contents of the reels?
A: Kind of. I found no NTSC player in Morocco.

Q: Did you import the reels for sale or for your private use?

A: For my personal use.

Q: Why did you buy these reels?
A: To learn the Principles of Love.

That was all.

I was put behind bars pending a court sentence.

I requested the constables a telephone call but they were not interested.

Then a deputy came and asked me whether I knew Urdu and I said “aye”.

He took me to the lobby where I found a group of Pakistani pilgrims.

They told me in tears about their loss of passports and travel documents.

The police were in big trouble because it was their fault that the Saudi sponsor of the pilgrims ran away with the travel documents.

They begged me to calm the pilgrims down.

I told them they would have to take them to the Pakistani consulate to get some replacement travel documents because the pilgrims refused to be comforted.

The sheriff agreed and the problem was solved.

Their attitude then changed with me. As many times as I requested the damn telephone, they kept bringing it to me.

This is the real meaning of the story of Crucifixion: do good to those who mistreat you to overcome the world.

I contacted my second older brother, Zakir, as he and Hamid are rivals.

After dozens of calls and constant reminders, he brought a personal guarantee from the personnel manager of my employer, Dallah Group, Saudi Arabia’s largest private business.

Hamid started paying me daily visits to take my dirty laundry and bring new one. He also kept paying me money to buy food as the Station’s food was not very edible.

He told me Rafat, my evil boss, thought it was in my best interest to remain locked up till the sentence but he didn’t know Rafat was an evil boss who hated me.

For those who teach us Satan is a lord, can they tell us why Satan failed to tell Hamid that simple fact?

It’s because Satan is a very wicked lord. He never tells his followers his plans… Because he got none.

He just tells each follower what’s in their best interest, maximizing CHAOS. Hence, his name, Prince of Discord.

Thus, on the fourth day, I received a royal bail and saw the light of the day.

Just as on the forth day, God created sun, moon and the stars.

Another of my older brothers, Asim, called us from Dahran and suggested hiring a lawyer. I found a lawyer nearby our residence and he moved quickly and was about to trash the case.

This troubled Hamid and he advised me to find another lawyer. He found another lawyer more to his liking and paid him 40,000 Rials to do nothing and I agreed to fall in his traps.

Some three months later, I was handed a sentence of four months in prison and seventy lashes served twice.

The prosecutor informed me of my right to challenge that sentence but since it already was the lightest possible, an appeal could only result in a harsher sentence and I accepted his advice.

Hamid confirmed from my lawyer that the sentence would not result in deportation and the lawyer lied and said “If a sentence doesn’t specifically contain deportation, then the prisoner is released in the country,” a blatant lie.

On December 4, I received a fax from APS calling me to serve the sentence. It reeked of evil to spoil my last weekend in Saudi Arabia.

Since it reached after hours, I went home, instead, and spent my last weekend among my family.

As soon as I entered the prison, I realized how God had already sent His angels ahead of me to prepare for my advent.

I found a couple friendly prisoners. They told me about the bloody Water Wars between Saudi and African inmates just 2 months ago but after that War, the authorities provided a little more water.

The chamber I was in had 16 more inmates. Their chief told me about his 7 years’ sentence and his desperate attempts to get a relief without least success.

I told him this year, he was going to be released on the occasion of Eid Festivals, despite having 18 months of sentence left.

Next day, we heard in the news about king’s decision to release all prisoners with up to 18 months of sentence.

But he still asked me about himself and I assured him that he was going to be released and find a driver’s job with 2000 Rials salary or more.

He ordered for arrangement of my daily baths and free laundry service.

It was a very bad prison but I spent my sentence as if I were in a hotel.


Losing My Soulmate – 4

My Wound

On my 28th birthday, February 6, 1995, God’s angel appeared to me and I saw a vision.

I saw I was entering a room. There were two beds in that room. The far bed was not aligned at right angle with the wall.

My father was sleeping on it. I turned and looked at the other bed. It was correctly aligned with the wall. My mom was sleeping on that bed.

I exited the room into the corridor. I saw a plate on the opposite wall with the word ‘Allopathy’ written on it.

Then I woke up.

I knew it was an evil dream and I didn’t find the courage to tell mom whom I loved & respected so crazily since early childhood. My father was hit by a car and died instantly in early November, 1994.

After some thinking, I decided to tell my dream to my older sister. She fool went ahead and told mom, who had been bed-ridden since 6 months.

She came back to tell me my mom wanted to see me. I was taken by surprise and was dumbfounded.

My mom asked me to tell her the dream (my elder sister is a poor witness and mixes up things). I told my mom the evil prophecy in toto.

She didn’t utter a word.

She just closed her eyes to have some rest.

I sometimes wish I had the ability to tell lies but I don’t.

After a couple of days, Hamid, my best enemy, asked me to take him to a clinic where he thought we could find a sympathetic & learned physician who’d agree to see a patient in her house.

We indeed found an Egyptian physician who examined our mom and advised us to take her to a good hospital that had laboratories and operation theatre for heart patients as he reckoned she was having a cardiac insufficiency problem.

But when Hamid talked mom into going to nearby New Jeddah Clinic Hospital, she panicked and pleaded to let her die among her children, not alone in a hospital.

But Hamid had a winning argument and we all agreed because we really wanted to get her treated. It’s very painful to see your loved one suffering without being able to help it.

I took Hamid to the post office and we sent one telex to our younger brother, Rashid, who was studying in Istanbul University and another to our oldest brother, Abid, who had moved to Pakistan since 1992.

They both came to see mom but by that time, our mom had cooled off and she asked Rashid to go back to his studies and not worry.

My older sister had volunteered to stay with mom so that she won’t feel alone.

By fourth day, her condition had improved and stabilized but they had been unable to find a replacement heart yet.

My elder sister wanted to go home till evening to do the laundry and mom consented.

I dropped my sister at home and went to my job. We had given the Hospital my phone number as I was the only one with a direct line (no extension numbers).

At 2:41pm, I received a call from the Hospital informing me of my mom’s death.

Her lungs were filling with fluids due to cardiac insufficiency. She suffered a sudden attack, was rushed to ICU but they couldn’t save her.

Before going to see mom, I contacted Hamid and Zakir and rushed to the Hospital but both of them got delayed and according to the wicked prophecy, I was the first to arrive and I felt stinging pain because she died gasping for some air.

She kind of drowned.

After more than 21 years, I still carry this wound. I blame myself for my mom’s lonely death in a hospital.

My God does strange things to me.

What kind of a birthday gift was that?

“Look into the MIRROR (Bible) and you shall see the face (Jesus) that tells you: I love you, I’ll kill you. But I’ll love you forever” ~ Enigma.

My Wound