Who Stole My Soap Bar? – Part 2

In the first post by this name,   Who Stole My Soap Bar?  I told a story of my neighbor, Hanif, who had stolen my soap bar because he wanted me to marry his sister, Fahmidah.

In fact, he’s so desperate to marry me to that beautiful damsel that he is ready to go to any length.

But I’m not going to marry that girl whom I’v always loved.

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Jurlene, my Bible Teacher, once chastised me for such adventures.

She was right when she said “Berni, didn’t I ask you to stop your adventures with women? They give you heartaches and worsen your insomnia problem.”

Poor Jurlene. I failed to obey her because I don’t fear evil.

I enjoy evil — even if it gives me heartache.

When I’m up to something good, I don’t care about storms nor tornadoes. What’s a heartache to stop me from doing the will of God?

She once likened me to “Samson” (The Invincible) because she fool said I had a bad eye for women, like Samson!

How evil on the part of my Bible Teacher!

How dare she judge the Judge of Israel?

Samson had committed no error when he married Delilah, the Palestinian woman.

God wanted him to do that to strike terror in the hearts of bloody Palestinians and teach them to respect the God of Jews — even if they had learned the secret of Samson’s incredible powers.

So my Bible Teacher used to believe the false doctrine of Jesus Christ dying for our sins and hence, she thought that this gave her a license to judge people and commit sins!

What evidence she had against me? I kept telling her about women showing lust in me and my fishing them for God but she thought I had a bad eye for women. How disgusting these teachers are!

There’s always some wisdom of God in my life’s adventures and she should have known that it’s impossible for us to understand God’s wisdom unless He explains it to us and He doesn’t explain to sinners, does He?

Why then she did evil and tried to judge me instead of asking me to explain myself?

In particular, why do they do evil and try to find error with the prophets, the judges and even God himself?

And if teachers and preachers of Bible can find error with the judges and prophets of Bible — which they believe is the word of God — will they not find errors with you? Will they not judge you?

Don’t these evil idiots read about Pharisees finding error with the prostitute who had come to listen to the word of God and Jesus’ refusing to judge her and even saving her from the death penalty?

Jesus, the Word of God, refuses to judge a known prostitute but these “holy” teachers and preachers will even find error with God.

That’s why I’m an outlaw and hated by many teachers and most preachers.

So why Hanif is so hell-bent on marrying me to his beautiful sister?

Why me?

When my wife threw me out of my apartment in February, 2014, I asked her where to go and she suggested I move to my brother, Abid’s.

I had no other place to go to. So I moved to Abid’s although I despise his insolence.

After two months of giving me hell, he once thought of glorifying Ka’ba, the largest idol of the world that is worshipped by Muslims.

I had once mentioned my amusement of God sending a flock of nightingales dropping stones on an army of elephants sent to destroy Ka’ba in 1998, completely shattering the elephants into pieces (Koran:105).

He decided to remind me of that amazing story (to show me how my conversion to Christianity was at fault.)

I asked him if they could ever find an archeological evidence of that army.

“No. It was completely shattered into pieces,” he answered.

“And what about the pots and the armors? You know, such a huge army doesn’t move empty-handed?”

“Everything must have been shattered” he answered in bewilderment.

“So it’s a false story, isn’t it?”

He was dumbfounded.

But his religious bigotry made him mad at me.

Next day, he tried to turn his humiliation into a victory.

At dinner, he accused me of being an idiot for having glorified Ka’ba in 1998. I said “I did it on purpose.”

That really infuriated him and his blood pressure shot up and he swallowed his pills.

He fool thought I trapped him since 1998! How could I’ve done that on my own? It was God who lays these traps.

My conversion to Christianity is both the reason of my troubles as well as the vehicle of my greatest victories — like Joseph, son of Israel.

Continues   here.


My Promised Girl – Part VII

This story starts from  My Cinderella.

This is how God completed my conditional marriage: He put me in troubles for my rivals to capitalize on.

On a beautiful day of June 2001, I opened Koran and read chapter 61. The last verse shocked me because for the first time I realized it was asking us — the Muslims — to be Christians as the disciples also were.

In fact, we were taught in school that all the prophets had come to preach Islam but their followers corrupted their books and Koran was the only book left intact because God guaranteed its integrity.

So basically I did nothing.

I just informed all my relatives about my adoption and acceptance of Christianity.

That’s all.

I remained as devout a Muslim as ever.

After a while, I received a call from Saima asking me to write to her father, uncle Irshad.

I had no idea it had to do with my Christianity and faith. So I just sent him some news, other blah and assured him of my brothers’ participation in the wedding ceremony.

On June 19, I received his reply that was very subtle, discussing several issues, rebuking me for fighting Abid, blaming me for getting him fired from NRL, etc. but it contained a suspicious statement buried deep at the end of the email that said “… and I welcome a good Muslim”.

I found that email very disrespectful, asking me to renounce my faith.

I decided to wait a couple of days to cool off and not judge the email in anger.

But when I read that email again, it indeed was disrespectful.

I then wrote a very harsh reply and scolded my uncle for acting like Nimrod.

That humiliation drove him mad at me. He called my elder sister in Jeddah but she refused to help him and blamed him for fighting with her brother.

He told her there was no way he was going to marry me to any girl; someone (God) had to apologise.

She refused to apologize.

He told her it was the end of the marriage. Game over.

When my brothers and sisters started arriving Pakistan for their annual vacations in July, my elder sister offered to marry me to some other girl “since Saima didn’t love me.”

I showed her the bundle of love letters and cards from Saima stamped with kisses and hearts including recent ones.

I informed her it was not an engagement that Uncle could cancel. It was a conditional marriage which only I could cancel through divorce and I had no such intentions.

Moreover, the Condition had not expired. I still had till the end of August.

My brothers had not given her these facts.

She decided to stay till the end of that august month.

This is how God showed me the solution to that impossible condition: He demonstrated it to me.

In August, I foolishly told my class friends about chapter 61 of Koran and my acceptance of Christianity.

The professor of Software Engineering gave us an assignment of making presentations. He asked us to join groups of at least 3 and each group was to choose a subject approved by the professor.

“Once approved, there’ll be no revisions of presentation time nor the subject,” he elaborated. “Any failure will result in an F”.

Mansoor and his friend approached me and asked me to deliver the presentation and field the questions while they’d prepare the material.

I decided to trust them.

We agreed on a presentation on recently-released Oracle 9i and the professor assigned us a date.

On the day of presentation, they surprised me by informing me that they had not prepared a thing and the professor was their neighbor.

So it was all a planned conspiracy that was well thought out and designed to teach a fool it’s not good to be a Christian among Muslims.

I only had an hour to do something.

I went to the library but they had no recent material on any subject at all.

Mansoor followed me closely everywhere to keep an eye on me.

I spent some time reading stuff in the library then I went out and sat on the benches in front of the Faculty of Computer Sciences.

Mansoor and his friend joined me while I chatted with Imran, a friend, about kittens that were playing there.

Suddenly, I looked at my watch and alerted Mansoor. It was 8:30pm — closing time.

He immediately rushed in the class and I followed him but the professor asked him to shut up and sit down.

The previous presentation was so long & interesting that it ran till end of class time. The students won’t let the professor end it.

Since it was the professor who had failed to call me to hold the presentation, it was his fault. He fell prey to his own strict condition of no second chances and I received full marks without actually making any presentation.

This is what a “fool” gets when he believes in Jesus, the Lord.

Continue  here.

My Promised Girl – Part VII

My Wound

On my 28th birthday, February 6, 1995, God’s angel appeared to me and I saw a vision.

I saw I was entering a room. There were two beds in that room. The far bed was not aligned at right angle with the wall.

My father was sleeping on it. I turned and looked at the other bed. It was correctly aligned with the wall. My mom was sleeping on that bed.

I exited the room into the corridor. I saw a plate on the opposite wall with the word ‘Allopathy’ written on it.

Then I woke up.

I knew it was an evil dream and I didn’t find the courage to tell mom whom I loved & respected so crazily since early childhood. My father was hit by a car and died instantly in early November, 1994.

After some thinking, I decided to tell my dream to my older sister. She fool went ahead and told mom, who had been bed-ridden since 6 months.

She came back to tell me my mom wanted to see me. I was taken by surprise and was dumbfounded.

My mom asked me to tell her the dream (my elder sister is a poor witness and mixes up things). I told my mom the evil prophecy in toto.

She didn’t utter a word.

She just closed her eyes to have some rest.

I sometimes wish I had the ability to tell lies but I don’t.

After a couple of days, Hamid, my best enemy, asked me to take him to a clinic where he thought we could find a sympathetic & learned physician who’d agree to see a patient in her house.

We indeed found an Egyptian physician who examined our mom and advised us to take her to a good hospital that had laboratories and operation theatre for heart patients as he reckoned she was having a cardiac insufficiency problem.

But when Hamid talked mom into going to nearby New Jeddah Clinic Hospital, she panicked and pleaded to let her die among her children, not alone in a hospital.

But Hamid had a winning argument and we all agreed because we really wanted to get her treated. It’s very painful to see your loved one suffering without being able to help it.

I took Hamid to the post office and we sent one telex to our younger brother, Rashid, who was studying in Istanbul University and another to our oldest brother, Abid, who had moved to Pakistan since 1992.

They both came to see mom but by that time, our mom had cooled off and she asked Rashid to go back to his studies and not worry.

My older sister had volunteered to stay with mom so that she won’t feel alone.

By fourth day, her condition had improved and stabilized but they had been unable to find a replacement heart yet.

My elder sister wanted to go home till evening to do the laundry and mom consented.

I dropped my sister at home and went to my job. We had given the Hospital my phone number as I was the only one with a direct line (no extension numbers).

At 2:41pm, I received a call from the Hospital informing me of my mom’s death.

Her lungs were filling with fluids due to cardiac insufficiency. She suffered a sudden attack, was rushed to ICU but they couldn’t save her.

Before going to see mom, I contacted Hamid and Zakir and rushed to the Hospital but both of them got delayed and according to the wicked prophecy, I was the first to arrive and I felt stinging pain because she died gasping for some air.

She kind of drowned.

After more than 21 years, I still carry this wound. I blame myself for my mom’s lonely death in a hospital.

My God does strange things to me.

What kind of a birthday gift was that?

“Look into the MIRROR (Bible) and you shall see the face (Jesus) that tells you: I love you, I’ll kill you. But I’ll love you forever” ~ Enigma.

My Wound

Adam & Eve

We all have heard this story. The oldest of stories. The scholars have been trying to decipher it but I believe we can never understand this story on our own.

However, I can tell you what this story means because Jesus explained it to me through a demonstration. My life is full of tragedies that explain Bible.

One story God blessed me with was my strange wife and her strange lover that explains the story of Adam & Eve.

Since the earliest days, my wife told me she was going to fight me. I tried my best to avoid the inevitable but I failed. For 12 years I tried to love my wife with all my heart & soul but failed. My false, man-made love lost to my wife’s holy love. Thank God.

After 9 months of losing my wife, God sent an angel and I saw a vision. I saw my villain. He was my brother, Hamid, who lives in Saudi Arabia!

I had married his ‘woman’, his soul mate and he silently sacrificed and also agreed to help me financially because that’s what God wanted him to do and he trusted God.

Then I told both my wife and my brother the secret of their strange attraction and they were shocked to learn the truth. Till then, they fool never knew the other also loved them.

Here is the truth: for each of us, God creates a woman from our rib. “Woman” means “from-man”,
perhaps the only true English translation of a Hebrew word, Ish-ah.

The story says God created Adam from dust and put him in a garden in the east i.e. in Greece. But Adam was lonely and God saw that it was not good for man to be sad & blue. He first brought all kinds of animals to Adam and Adam gave them names. And whatever name Adam gave to each animal, that was its name i.e. God liked those names because they were true and correctly defined each animal unlike English names.

Adam saw how each animal had a pair but he had no one to pair with. Then God sent a deep sleep over Adam, took one of his ribs and created a woman from that rib. A woman is not created from dust but from flesh & bone, despite what scientists will tell you.

Then God brought that woman to Adam to see what name he shall give to her. Adam said “Now this is a bone of my bone and a flesh of my flesh so I’ll call her ‘woman’ and I’ll call this woman Eve (Giver-of-life)”.

Why create a clone from our rib?

Because each animal is one species so a lion can pair with any lioness — both share same personality.

But mankind is not one species but each man is a different & unique person.

I love the blue color but my wife loves the pink color. So each morning, I paint my house blue and go to work but when I return home in the evening, I find out my wife has colored my house pink.

God created Eve to be a helper for Adam but my wife is more like a Pink Panther to me. We all have married strange flesh. We all have violated women’s rights. Hence, there will be no World Peace, despite UNO’s promises.

God said “Let’s create man in our image.. Man and Woman created them He” Does that mean God has a wife? No. As God and His son are one and indistinguishable from each other, never separated from each other, so He creates for each one of us someone to love and bond with for eternity.

That’s how the Original Script used to be and there was World Peace.

Then Sons of God (rulers) saw that daughters of (ordinary) men were beautiful and they married whatever women they liked (lust).

World Peace was lost.

And the problem kept compounding so God sent a Deluge to save women and World Peace was restored… for a while.

Now the kind of love between Adam & Eve is holy and strange that’s why none of us understood it. Not me, not my brothers, and not anyone else.

Hence, Jesus Christ explained it to me through my life’s stories.

My wife asked God and He advised her to marry me, not my brother, Hamid. She took great leap of faith and married her lover’s brother. She easily sacrificed her love for the sake of God.

Hamid put up a great resistance through other brothers and sisters but when he poor learned his Saima wanted to marry his brother, he helped us financially. This strange tendency to sacrifice makes this love even holier and deserves a separate post.

I will tell you more details and about the demonstration.

But is my explanation clear or is it still ambiguous? I’d like you to tell me what parts are ambiguous.

Thank you.

Adam & Eve

My experiences of learning Bible

Hi there.

I was born in Jeddah to Pakistani immigrant parents. I received all my schooling in Saudi public schools in Dammam. I then moved to Riyadh and was trained in Statistics and graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in 1990.

God entered my life since my birth. My mom used to love Mecca, which she believed was where God lived. My father was jobless at the time of my birth but my mom won’t agree to leave “God” in Mecca.

One day, while in the shrine near Kaaba, a Saudi made a lucrative offer to my father to buy me. This freaked out my mom and she agreed to relocate to Dammam, some 1200km away. She loved me more than she loved Kaaba — an empty room that’s of no use to any.

When I was about 9, I was once going to buy bread one noon, I found a torn illustrated book in a trash bin. I picked it up. Now I know it was the Gospel.

I got many other interesting stories. But did I know God and choose Him or was it God who chose me?

Did I know God who led me to the Gospel or was it the Gospel that led me to God?

I’ve learned a lot about God from the priests and teachers of Bible but they are grossly wrong about God, and their teachings are less than perfect.


Who Gets to Rule?

We believe Man rules the world because that’s what we see. We tend to believe what we see, don’t we?

But are we indeed the rightful rulers of the world? No.

“This world belongs to the meak and humble”~ Jesus, Sermon on the Mount.

Eve ate from the Forbidden Tree first and man became ruler as a result. But the world still belongs to women and children as it did in the Garden of Eden.

Look at patriarchal societies such as Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan: you shall see hell. Thanks to such barbarians, we know we need to thank God for giving us some civility.

Did Jesus indeed ascend to heaven? Yes, but only to descend. During the past 2000 years, he has descended, turning this world into His kingdom, one block at a time.

A few countries are reminiscent of how it used to be before Christ and no country is perfect yet. But the age of evil empires is largely over and democratic values are taking root everywhere.

A very slow, gentle and graceful journey to heaven. Eve shall rule as before. Then, we shall achieve World Peace.

Are you an obedient husband? I am, thank God.

Who Gets to Rule?