Quran Versus Bible

My blog is mostly about Adam & Eve’s story in the Book of Genesis.

Not without reason.

My whole life revolves around marital problems, women’s rights, show of deep love & respect of my mother who used to believe marriage was somehow evil.

Even my Terminator project is dedicated to Terminator T-800 in the movie Terminator 2: Judgement Day, where he is shown to have learned his lesson so well that Sarah Connor praises him above all humans when she says,

Sarah Connor: [voiceover] Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The terminator, would never stop. It would never leave him, and it would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit him, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there. And it would die, to protect him. Of all the would- be fathers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

There’s another reason for my affection with the word “terminator”, despite its negative impression in the minds of the masses: I, even I, am a terminator because I’m the last stop. All the roads lead to me. All your troubles end with me.

I never let an opportunity to help people-in-need slip from my hand. I don’t let them go before I make sure their problem is solved.

I know I’m considered a weirdo like that Terminator, servant of women & children.

“What kind of a man are you? Why children don’t fear you?” A female school principal where I used to teach English, once said to me.

“Why children (of grade IV) need to fear me? Am I a lion or what?” I said in my heart.

She was a woman and women love God & children and hate violence & all evil. Hence, her anti-children disappointment must have been instigated by a male.

Faced with evil, always look for the male factor!

But there were 3 males there and before I figured out who was responsible for promotion of corporal punishment of innocent children, I was fired.

Later on, God told me “It was Sir Amir Raza, jealous of your competencies despite your lower salary.”

Of course he was!

The other two male staff had nothing to do with either children or me. But Sir Amir Raza’s mysogyny and anti-children Satanism was due to his poor English. His poor English skills were exposed because of me so he kept conspiring until I got fired for no reason.

I call it obeying Jesus Christ when He said

“Whosoever will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”

and

“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?”

Besides my presentation of Adam’s story and my theory of AI (Artificial Intelligence) and how to build a Terminator that works — a computer that sees, hears, thinks and understands, the bulk of my blog consists of my life’s memoirs.

But again, most, if not all, of them are about women & children.

They’re about my childhood, meeting Jesus Christ in a pile of trash as detailed in my post,  Jesus In The Trash,  — where he handed me the Technology of Overcoming The World: The Crucifixion — something Christians don’t understand.

When I was admitted to school, I had bleeding nose due to extremely hot weather.

Luckily, my funny older brother, Sajid, caught me unsuccessfully washing my nose off blood in the bathroom’s sink.

He is a funny guy who is a born physician.

He immediately rushed me to the kitchen, let me stand on a small stool for my head to reach the kitchen sink, opened the fridge, took out frozen water jug and poured that frosty water on the top of my head.

His trick worked — as usual.

The bleeding stopped instantly. He then let me lay down on my back with my nose raised by putting some pillows under my head.

I won’t exaggerate if I said he saved my life because all others were taking a long nap (siesta). I’d have bled to death by the time they had woken up.

Jesus Christ took over from that point.

He sent His angel and I saw a dream.

I saw I was in a room with the door closed.

A monkey was outside the room. He extended his tail underneath the door’s clearance and grabbed a 50 Halalah coin.

Then the angel of God woke me up.

I fool failed to understand.

So next night, God’s angel appeared to me again and I saw that same exact dream again.

Then I fool understood.

I grabbed a 50 Halalah coin from my mom’s money-keeping box.

To be continued…

Quran Versus Bible

The Secret To Enlightenment

William Ross Wallace (1819-1881)
THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE IS THE HAND THAT RULES THE WORLD.

BLESSINGS on the hand of women!
Angels guard its strength and grace.
In the palace, cottage, hovel,
Oh, no matter where the place;
Would that never storms assailed it,
Rainbows ever gently curled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Infancy’s the tender fountain,
Power may with beauty flow,
Mothers first to guide the streamlets,
From them souls unresting grow—
Grow on for the good or evil,
Sunshine streamed or evil hurled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Woman, how divine your mission,
Here upon our natal sod;
Keep—oh, keep the young heart open
Always to the breath of God!
All true trophies of the ages
Are from mother-love impearled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Blessings on the hand of women!
Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,
And the sacred song is mingled
With the worship in the sky—
Mingles where no tempest darkens,
Rainbows evermore are hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

The above poem can be found in:
Northrop, H.D. Beautiful Gems of
Thought and Sentiment. Boston, MA: The Colins-Patten Co., 1890.

Note: I copied this from Poem of The Week site, PotW.org.


¤ Every knee shall bow to Me (women). This is what God wants. I (women) and God are one.

¤ By the hands of women, men are saved. There’s no other name given under heaven by which people will be saved.

¤ I have sworn by Myself, the word is gone out of My mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, That unto me (women) every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear.

¤ And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this (to woman), thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: 15 And I will put enmity between thee (Satan, the Mysogynist) and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed (womenfolk); it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his (women’s) heel.

We know Satan never bruised Jesus’ heel, he obeys Jesus, The Lord.

Aside

Who Stole My Soap Bar? – Part 2

In the first post by this name,   Who Stole My Soap Bar?  I told a story of my neighbor, Hanif, who had stolen my soap bar because he wanted me to marry his sister, Fahmidah.

In fact, he’s so desperate to marry me to that beautiful damsel that he is ready to go to any length.

But I’m not going to marry that girl whom I’v always loved.

Find this interesting?

How about you sending me a friend request to my Facebook account and we’ll share each other’s posts?

Jurlene, my Bible Teacher, once chastised me for such adventures.

She was right when she said “Berni, didn’t I ask you to stop your adventures with women? They give you heartaches and worsen your insomnia problem.”

Poor Jurlene. I failed to obey her because I don’t fear evil.

I enjoy evil — even if it gives me heartache.

When I’m up to something good, I don’t care about storms nor tornadoes. What’s a heartache to stop me from doing the will of God?

She once likened me to “Samson” (The Invincible) because she fool said I had a bad eye for women, like Samson!

How evil on the part of my Bible Teacher!

How dare she judge the Judge of Israel?

Samson had committed no error when he married Delilah, the Palestinian woman.

God wanted him to do that to strike terror in the hearts of bloody Palestinians and teach them to respect the God of Jews — even if they had learned the secret of Samson’s incredible powers.

So my Bible Teacher used to believe the false doctrine of Jesus Christ dying for our sins and hence, she thought that this gave her a license to judge people and commit sins!

What evidence she had against me? I kept telling her about women showing lust in me and my fishing them for God but she thought I had a bad eye for women. How disgusting these teachers are!

There’s always some wisdom of God in my life’s adventures and she should have known that it’s impossible for us to understand God’s wisdom unless He explains it to us and He doesn’t explain to sinners, does He?

Why then she did evil and tried to judge me instead of asking me to explain myself?

In particular, why do they do evil and try to find error with the prophets, the judges and even God himself?

And if teachers and preachers of Bible can find error with the judges and prophets of Bible — which they believe is the word of God — will they not find errors with you? Will they not judge you?

Don’t these evil idiots read about Pharisees finding error with the prostitute who had come to listen to the word of God and Jesus’ refusing to judge her and even saving her from the death penalty?

Jesus, the Word of God, refuses to judge a known prostitute but these “holy” teachers and preachers will even find error with God.

That’s why I’m an outlaw and hated by many teachers and most preachers.

So why Hanif is so hell-bent on marrying me to his beautiful sister?

Why me?

When my wife threw me out of my apartment in February, 2014, I asked her where to go and she suggested I move to my brother, Abid’s.

I had no other place to go to. So I moved to Abid’s although I despise his insolence.

After two months of giving me hell, he once thought of glorifying Ka’ba, the largest idol of the world that is worshipped by Muslims.

I had once mentioned my amusement of God sending a flock of nightingales dropping stones on an army of elephants sent to destroy Ka’ba in 1998, completely shattering the elephants into pieces (Koran:105).

He decided to remind me of that amazing story (to show me how my conversion to Christianity was at fault.)

I asked him if they could ever find an archeological evidence of that army.

“No. It was completely shattered into pieces,” he answered.

“And what about the pots and the armors? You know, such a huge army doesn’t move empty-handed?”

“Everything must have been shattered” he answered in bewilderment.

“So it’s a false story, isn’t it?”

He was dumbfounded.

But his religious bigotry made him mad at me.

Next day, he tried to turn his humiliation into a victory.

At dinner, he accused me of being an idiot for having glorified Ka’ba in 1998. I said “I did it on purpose.”

That really infuriated him and his blood pressure shot up and he swallowed his pills.

He fool thought I trapped him since 1998! How could I’ve done that on my own? It was God who lays these traps.

My conversion to Christianity is both the reason of my troubles as well as the vehicle of my greatest victories — like Joseph, son of Israel.

Continues   here.

Aside

Offering God An Apology – 1

This memoir of my life starts on one beautiful day of early 2012.

I had just joined Dar-ul-Ishaat as a web developer when God’s angel came to me and I saw a vision.

I saw myself sitting on a sofa in the lobby of some university’s dormitory, where my Monia, my soulmate, was studying.

In front of me was a counter and there was the Counter Guy standing there.

On my right hand was the door. A stupid guy entered, came down the couple steps and went straight to the Counter Guy.

He had come with his arms dangling in a disrespectful manner and asked for Monia.

The Counter Guy rebuked him and that stupid, ill-mannered guy turned around and went straight out.

That amazed me because I wondered “Who is this guy whose orders are obeyed by all and sundry?”

I looked at the Counter Guy to see his face but I observed that I was unable to see his face.

Then I woke up.

“We’re not allowed to see the face of God”, say the Jews.

I sat up and thanked God for saving my Monia for me and taking good care of her through all the years.

He had saved her for me despite my sincere request to marry her to a nice guy who’d treat her well after she had refused my marriage proposal in late June, 1997.

In fact, it was me who had asked her why she won’t go see her mom back in August 1996 soon after I met her for the first time.

She had pointed her finger to her eyes and said “al-Haman” (The neighbors will see me).

But when I slept with her, I took away her shyness because I don’t shy from nor fear bad guys.

Weren’t it these same neighbors who had rushed to save her from the assailants when they had heard her shouts for help and sent the assailants to 10 years of prison?

Weren’t these donkeys aware of Monia’s innocence and assailants’ fault?

Why should one fear or shy away from such idiots?

In the morning, a wicked idea came to me and I offered Monia to escort her till the main square of Immouzzer and she agreed.

Once we reached the turn of her street, I kissed her lips and she kissed me back.

We didn’t fear anyone. We didn’t shy from anyone. We kissed passionately in the main square of the little town of Immouzzer.

Nothing bad happened. No one objected. And why would they?

Weren’t we free people?

By next year, she got rid of all her shyness because I’d frequently take her out and she’d hold my arm. Once, she sat on my laps and we enjoyed a cup of tea.

Sometimes, we’d lip-kiss and show our affection to the world.

In a year’s time, I helped her get rid of fear & shyness and she fool listened to me, refused my marriage proposal and went back to her mom!

It was me who had spoiled our marriage plans!

I did that because I loved her so thoroughly and God had asked me not to take her away from her mom; otherwise she was going to miss her mom.

That’s why I don’t regret my actions.

I had advised her to go back to her mom for her own good because she had left her mom in Fes and had come with her aunt to Immouzzer.

But even after seeing that vision, I fool had failed to see the obvious.

That’s why God resent the angel (whom the Jews call ‘Gabriel’) and I saw the second vision.

I saw I was entering a gymnasium. Monia was the instructor and I was her only client.

She lied down on a blue mattress, threw her hips in the air as my wife, Saima, used to do whenever she enjoyed sex and said “Make love like this!”

Then I woke up and sat up.

I was at a loss to understand. I thought “Why God always asks me to love Saima? Why doesn’t He ask Saima to love me? And why was Monia copying Saima’s ways? Does God want to tell me that Saima no longer loves me? Why? Don’t I already know that?”

I mean what’s the point?

I was so confused. I just kept wondering about God’s strange ways.

Then I suddenly got it: God was telling me “I’m going to dissolve your marriage to Saima and marry you to your Monia”!

I immediately advised God against doing such a horrible thing. I presented my apology to God with all due respect.

I said “No, dear God, don’t you do that, please. Think about my children. I got little children and they’re going to miss their mom and cry “Ma… Ma! What will happen to my poor children?”

“So what should I do then?”, asked God, my Lord.

“Don’t do anything. I don’t want Monia, I want Saima because I got two children now and the children want Saima, not Monia” I said.

“But Saima doesn’t love the children. She uses them. She’s spoiled their school year. She distorts their minds by her continuous bickering & fights.” Said God.

“She indeed is very selfish & evil. Tell you waht. Kill her!” said I, offering God a better solution.

Continues  here.

Offering God An Apology – 1

Who Stole My Soap Bar?

One night, God sent His angel and I saw a strange dream.

I was standing on something like an island. A school bus came wading through dirty water and a girl stepped down and asked me for the toilet and I apologized as my toilet was full and out of order.

She strangely rode above the bus’s roof as some boys do in Karachi. I was surprised at that girl’s boyish ways.

There were several boys also in that school bus but none had a need to use the toilet.

I thought of putting a large sign board to tell all visiting buses that my toilet was full and out of order for the convenience of girls, especially.

Then I woke up, tried to understand that strange dream but failed and I went back to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, it was a beautiful day. I woke up and went to my washing area where I keep my water tank.

Much to my surprise, I found out that my soap bar was missing along with its plastic case. That was strange.

Rats had earlier stolen my soap bars but not the plastic holder so I looked under my water tank but there was no sign of my soap bar there.

I looked elsewhere, in case the rat had dragged the soap outside but there was no sign of the soap nor its case anywhere.

I washed my hands with water only and drank a cup of tea. I had been living without food for several days as I had run out of all money and God had shut all doors of income on my face.

I tried to solve the mystery of my missing soap bar.

A rat walks on four legs. It needs another two legs to carry a soap bar. But a rat only got four legs, not six.

Only a man got two hands to carry a soap bar and still be able to walk. But what kind of a thief would steal a soap bar and leave other, more expensive stuff alone?

He must got a problem with my soap! “Funny thief,” I thought.

After that breakfast, God sent His angel again and I went to sleep and had a second vision.

I saw a guy who looked like my oldest brother, Abid, and he was very angry at me.

Then I realized he was angry because I was sitting in his way to the toilet. I was having my meal. I moved to make way for him to go to the toilet.

Then I woke up.

I went to my front door neighbor and found my neighbor Hanif’s wife. I asked her about Hanif. She was terribly frightened and she asked me what was wrong.

I told her about my stolen soap bar and Hanif’s brother came running and asked me angrily “Why would we steal your soap bar?”

I couldn’t talk about such things to that unmarried brother nor to Hanif’s young wife. So after a second of thinking, I just asked Hanif’s wife to let Hanif or his mother meet me.

Here’s the solution to the Mystery of My Missing Soap Bar.

God has made me a jolly attractive male. Hanif is one of those who have tried to marry their sisters to me. His sister had boyish ways and hence, I openly told her about my Monia, my soulmate whom God had created from my rib.

A toilet means one’s need to solve a problem. The roads full of dirty water meant bad waters. The bus means a family or a community.

Hanif was very angry at my rejection of his sister. He thought of stealing my soap, which men without a woman use to cool themselves up.

He wanted me to stop making use of soaps and agree to marry his sister so he thought of stealing my bloody soap!

Continues  here. 

Who Stole My Soap Bar?

My Strange Divorce – 7

This memoir starts from  My Cinderella.  Thank you.

“The lyrics are not very eligible and I don’t know how to sing anyway.” I finally decided to give up and apologize.

She giggled and said “These are the names of recent popular songs of Bollywood movies that my children like.

“I’d like you to download them and put a copy on my flesh disk”.

She then read me the names of those songs. Some of them were romantic but some were very explicit. Even their names were dirty like “Gandi Baat” (Sex Stuff).

She had so successfully fooled me that even my boss’s partner, Asad, also had no doubts about her implicit interest in sex & adultery.

She said she’ll be back in an hour and as soon as she left, Asad recommended charging her Rs20 per song. I said “We can’t do that because for Rs50, one can get disk load of all popular songs within minutes from shops specializing in such stuff and he agreed.

She came after about an hour with her children, took a copy of all the songs for Rs40 and went away.

A couple days later, she came alone and was about to enter my office when she noticed my scary-looking boss, Mr. Mansoori, and went away.

I wondered what made her run away.

That night, I felt tired and decided to take a bus home. The bus driver had a very romantic song that said “There’s none like you in this world”.

The singing girl strangely kept repeating those words and I felt as if she was telling me something. I waited for that stuck player to move on but it won’t.

Finally, I gave up and said “OK, God, I get it. I’m special” and the song then moved on with the rest of the lyrics!

I thought I must be suffering delusions because no one else seemed to have noticed anything weird.

I asked a friend to give me a copy of that song and when I heard the song, it had no repetitions. I asked my friend to find that songs’s remix version in which those lyrics are repeated.

He found only one remix and it, too, had no repetition of those words!

Then I believed.

God had made me very attractive & irresistible to women for some reason.

That lovely woman had interest in me and she wanted me to hear the lyrics, “Enough civilized talk. Now I’m going to do sexy stuff with you”.

She learned her lesson and never again thought of sex with strangers.

Now Let me explain my Father a little.

In early 2004, I was visited by the angel of God and I was shown a vision.

I heard a voice telling me “If you complete 10 years of joblessness, I’ll give you a great job.” I then was shown a beautiful street of Casablanca.

Then I woke up.

I told my wife I intended to move to Rawalpindi because a great job was waiting for me there.

She was reluctant. She hated living in rental houses where the landlords give troubles to extort additional money.

But I said God had promised me a job, a house and a car.

She said she didn’t want to leave that beautifully-decorated apartment of mine.

She lied to deceive me.

She then started having electric shocks while having a shower or doing laundry.

It was a weird experience because I, too, used to take daily showers and help her in laundry but never experienced electric shocks.

I conjectured some idiot must have wired the ground wire to the water pipes and advised her to fill the bucket, close the tap and then bath from the bucket’s water.

She still suffered a shock!

I also advised her to remove the plug before putting her hand in that damn washing machine.

But she still suffered shocks!

Then one beautiful day, I showed her a Hollywood horror movie named INFESTED.

She then felt sleepy and had a nap.

After a while, I heard her scream and rushed to her. She had a nightmare of flies infesting her body!

I comforted her and promised not to again show her those damn, good-for-nothing horror movies.

We then started having a German cockroach infestation problem that started from our kitchen but slowly kept spreading everywhere.

I went to the market and bought best roach-killing liquids, added them together and sprayed. All roaches were exterminated.

Problem solved.

My wife once again lied down to enjoy a siesta. Again, she screamed and I rushed to save her.

She just had seen another wicked dream in which she saw a scary, ugly roach telling her “This apartment belongs to us, not to you”!

Then the roaches started spreading back.

My wife is definitely not a superstitious, is she?

But I am.

Soon after completing my MCS (Master of Computer Science) studies in June, 2004, I put it to her in black & white.

“I’m moving to Rawalpindi with or without you. You can continue living in this beautiful apartment or come with me. That choice is yours.”

Continues…

My Strange Divorce – 7

My Strange Divorce – 6

This memoir starts from  My Cinderella.  Thank you.

Besides God and His angels, sometimes, the evil men also tell truths. My evil boss, Mujahid Mansoori had also told me the truth about my handsome looks and his expectations of women starting to come into his office because of me.

I laughed it off as a friendly complement.

I was wrong.

Before the Eid, a woman came with her friend to get a resume printed.

She told me she didn’t want her husband’s number on the resume and gave me her father’s address and phone number instead.

She told me she was also looking for a small & affordable house for rent.

I made her a resume, jotted down her rent request and she went away.

But she came back a couple days later.

She asked me how much I was going to charge her to teach her about computers. I asked for Rs500 for basic know-how.

She asked me for a discount and I said “What about Rs200?”

“You’re an angel,” she said.

I fool continuously failed to understand her because if you play tricks on me, I won’t understand you and that’ll frustrate you.

She asked me if she could take the classes in the mornings, when there are not many customers to attend to and I said “Aye”.

When they came in the morning, she asked me to pull the curtains and I pulled them closed.

I started telling them about Blaise Pascal and his adding machine, circa 1642.

Her friend interrupted me and asked me if she could use the computer and I let her use my computer.

She then quickly created a Facebook page for her friend and filled it with her data and some shares.

“Hey, you know computers better than me!” I exclaimed and they started giggling.

The next day also was not anymore fruitful. Her friend played with Internet, found a pic of Mahnoor Baloch, a hot Pakistani celebrity and asked me if her friend looked like her.

“They look like sisters” I agreed and they started giggling again.

Then came Eid holidays and the office was closed for four days.

On the second day of Eid, the angel of God visited me and I saw a vision.

I saw myself lying on a street. A he-horse and a she-horse were also lying on their sides on that street.

Then the she-horse crawled closer to the he-horse, lip-kissed him and went to sleep.

Then I woke up.

I texted that hot, beautiful client, telling her how beautiful she was.

Her reply came after a while, thanking me.

I told her she was as hot as Mahnoor Baloch, the hottest Pakistani celebrity.

She replied with a smiley.

Now we were talking.

I then talked business, “Although you belong to a decent family, you do not mind schmoozing, do you?”

It took her 7 hours to decipher my strange question. At last, she realized I had chastised her for her desire to kiss my lips and have a quicky.

She was first glad at my understanding of her desire — albeit being a little late.

She was then flattered by my explicit complements.

But my steadfastness and my decision to correct her, despite finding her extremely hot & desirable, was simply unbelievable.

Even humiliating & evil!

She said “What do you mean ‘suhmoozing’?”

It was obvious she was extremely offended by my way of treating her.

I said “Nothing. Just a customer service job.”

She said “What do you mean ‘schmoozing’? Explain in Udu (Urdu).”

She was fuming in anger. I had hit her where it hurt her the most — at her honor & dignity.

I then told her about Captain Hamid, my good neighbor, who was planning a charity trip to rural areas and who could use some help. She had some basic knowledge of medicine and chemistry.

She never again contacted me!

By putting her indecent proposal through progressively more explicit means, she had exposed her secrets and had fallen prey to her own craftiness.

She was no longer in a position to deny her sexual advances, despite being married, could she?

They had knowledge of real estate agents’ habit of keeping furnished rooms for illicit sex. That’s why she had asked for an affordable room first.

Failing that, she thought of using the office. It had a lock and curtains — a perfect place for a quicky.

After the Eid, I had my second encounter.

A woman came with heavy make up and dressed as if she had just come from attending a wedding party.

She looked pretty.

I enjoy looking at such women and girls — from a distance.

She had brought her two young children with her and gave me a piece of paper with some jottings and told me she wanted the song on a flash disk.

The writing was not very eligible.

I spent some time trying to understand what it was.

Continues…

My Strange Divorce – 6