Once upon a time, there used to live a Greek man. He had a son in his image and his wife named him Cain.
She then gave birth to his twin and she named him Abel.
Abel grew up and became a keeper of sheep but Cain was a copy of his father so he became a tiller of earth like his father, Adam.
One day, their grandpa, Jesus, asked the lads to make a burnt offering.
When Cain heard “burnt”, he thought of what his father used to do after every harvest.
He plucked all weed and thistles and set them on fire!
Didn’t I tell you he was a copy of his father?
As his father used to misunderstand instructions, so did Cain.
But Abel was smart. He knew what his grandpa meant and God had respect for his offering.
He teased Cain and laughed at him, which made Cain — a short-tempered guy like his father — angry.
When Jesus told him about the sin that lieth at the door and to rule over it, he thought up a good plan to get rid of that sin that bothered him.
He killed Abel, who used to lieth at the door for fresh air!
He then feared his mother and fled away.
He became a fugitive, stealing from other’s harvest and always on the run until he could run no more.
Then he met his grandpa who asked him about Abel’s whereabouts and like his father, he freaked out and denied any knowledge of Abel’s whereabouts.
Then Jesus told him he had killed the sinner, not the sin, which still lieth at the door and made him a fugitive and a thief.
Then he understood and complained about its burden and Jesus told him about His weird baptism.
He asked him to get up and enter the town and marry the woman whom Jesus had created from his rib and whom he was supposed to love.
“You’ll know her when you’ll see her,” Jesus answered cryptically when asked whom to love!
He entered the town and looked at the women.
All women were good-looking but as usual, his grandpa’s instructions were hard to understand as he wondered “How am I supposed to know her?”
He knew none of them!
Then he found her.
Oh, she was so beautiful, his eyes popped and his jaw dropped open.
She smiled and came near.
They both felt as if they had known each other since ever.
She took him to her father who was glad to hear about Cain’s knowledge of iron works that his father had learned from the devils in the Laboratories in the midst of Kingdom of Eden.
When he mated with his soulmate, the Holy Spirit descended upon him and he ate from the Tree of Life and his heart filled with LOVE, the God of Israel.
They went to visit Cain’s parents and Eve said “What made you fear me and flee? Why should I lose my both sons?” and she named new Cain “Seth”.
If you repent and believe the good news of our Lord, Jesus Christ, then that’s how he’s going to baptize you.
I’ve been baptized by Jesus Christ since August 28, 1996.
But all teachers of Bible preach baptism by water, despite what John, the Baptist said and despite the fact that none of the 12 disciples were baptized nor received the Holy Spirit until Jesus ascended to heavens.
Jesus baptized none of His disciples as long as He was with them!
Don’t they know these facts or have the other books of New Testament confused them?
If they believe Jesus is indeed the only savior and that no other name is given under heaven by which people will be saved, then why doesn’t the Old Testament mention baptism by water?
Adam was baptized by Eve.
Noah was baptized by Naamah, his “sister”.
Abraham was baptized by his “sister”, Sarah.
Isaac was baptized by his “sister” (clone), Rebecca.
Israel was promised a ladder to heaven, his “sister”, Rachel.
It was so hard for him to marry Rachel that he needed that promise, didn’t he?
And King David was baptized by Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, the Hittite.
No prophet ever received the Holy Spirit, either, unless he married his soulmate, was baptized by fire of love and ate from The Tree of Life.
When challenged by Sadduccees concerning resurrection, Jesus told them God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel was the Lord of the living, not of the dead i.e. their fathers were still alive but people knew them not.
He, however, later told His disciples about John, the Baptist, and how he used to wear a belt of leather around his waist as Elijah was known to do!
Notice how Peter tries to talk the Lord out of crucifixion as Abraham also tried thousands of years ago at the news of Destruction of Sodom & Gomorrah!
You can kill my body but not my soul.
But if you eat not of Tree of Life, then you’ll put both your body and your soul in jeopardy.
Note: This piece is dedicated to Monia Jenetti on 20th anniversary of my baptism by her.