What Women Want – 2/2

(… Continues from What Women Want, Part 1 of 2)

as God also knows but since I was a very careless guy, Jesus told me I was surely going to die the day I ate from it.

He really freaked me out!

I was so much in love with those laboratories but so scared, I also warned Eve although she was very cautious and knew her way in those laboratories (which she used to call “kitchen’.)

God never said anything about Eve eating from the tree. Did He?

Now God gave us dominion over all the animals and the beasts to rule over them. But in reality, no animal seems to listen to us or give us a damn.

Let me explain this mysterious statement of Bible, too.

It means that we can impersonate any animal or beast. So some men look like sheep but from inside, they are devouring wolves (priests and preachers who ally with rulers.)

Some are a bunch of vipers and vultures and so on.

One day, a sneaky devil talked Eve into eating from that scary Tree and she chose only those things that were pleasant to sight and good to eat.

Didn’t I tell you she knew her way in the ‘kitchen’? So we ended up benefiting from that “food”. Our eyes were opened. We kissed and mated.

But her act confused me. We didn’t die, did we?

So I fool went back there and ate an aphrodisiac. I did that because I used to feel miserable because I couldn’t please Eve as she used to please me. Or that’s what I thought.

But when she told me she didn’t like excessive sex, I cursed that sneaky, mysogynist devil for giving my Eve unnecessary troubles and trying to drive a wedge between us.

She took me to Syria (Aram) where all fruit trees were and sewed us aprons using fig leaves but my ever-erect penis kept showing up.

Then at dusk, we saw an evil Greek thief sneaking into our Kingdom of Eden. I thought Eve was equally attractive to all men.

I feared he was going to kill me and take my Eve.

But when Jesus called me, we were relieved. We weren’t scared nor ashamed of God. That’s silly and all people think so because no man got the Holy Spirit so no one understands Jesus as I do.

He likes to scare us as He also did when He came walking on water in the night like a ghost to scare His disciples.

Now when Jesus asked me who told me I was naked, I freaked out and blamed poor Eve.

When He asked Eve, she didn’t expose my stupidity, she blamed the devil of fooling her.

Then Jesus summoned that devil and he suddenly appeared. He cursed him and pacified us. He told me He had put enmity between devil and women.

He told Eve she was pregnant and her pregnancy will result in birth of Cain and its sign will be labor pains.

He told me I was a wheat-lover so fruits were no longer going to be my favorite food but my staple food will be bread, for which I’ll have to till the earth, which is cursed because it also yields weed and thorns.

So all my children have misunderstood the Book of Genesis because none got the Holy Spirit. They don’t have the free gift of the Holy Spirit because none is married to his soul mate, the women God creates from our ribs.

Now I am Adam, son of Jesus Christ, who is Son of God created from God’s face. Hence, His name & job title, God’s Interface.

Now Jesus created me from the dust of earth without a mother. There’s no one like me. No one knew me except my Father and no one has known Jesus as I do.

I’m different.

I’m not sent to men, but to women. And here’s what I have to say:

Please respect the Eve in you. Don’t wear make up nor show your assets to lure strange men to yourself.

You’re too important to waste yourself. You’re the gateway to heaven, the Kingdom of God will come only when you stop looking and wait for your soul mate.

He’ll not know you if you’re hiding behind make-up. Just be yourself.

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What Women Want – 2/2

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