My Wound

On my 28th birthday, February 6, 1995, God’s angel appeared to me and I saw a vision.

I saw I was entering a room. There were two beds in that room. The far bed was not aligned at right angle with the wall.

My father was sleeping on it. I turned and looked at the other bed. It was correctly aligned with the wall. My mom was sleeping on that bed.

I exited the room into the corridor. I saw a plate on the opposite wall with the word ‘Allopathy’ written on it.

Then I woke up.

I knew it was an evil dream and I didn’t find the courage to tell mom whom I loved & respected so crazily since early childhood. My father was hit by a car and died instantly in early November, 1994.

After some thinking, I decided to tell my dream to my older sister. She fool went ahead and told mom, who had been bed-ridden since 6 months.

She came back to tell me my mom wanted to see me. I was taken by surprise and was dumbfounded.

My mom asked me to tell her the dream (my elder sister is a poor witness and mixes up things). I told my mom the evil prophecy in toto.

She didn’t utter a word.

She just closed her eyes to have some rest.

I sometimes wish I had the ability to tell lies but I don’t.

After a couple of days, Hamid, my best enemy, asked me to take him to a clinic where he thought we could find a sympathetic & learned physician who’d agree to see a patient in her house.

We indeed found an Egyptian physician who examined our mom and advised us to take her to a good hospital that had laboratories and operation theatre for heart patients as he reckoned she was having a cardiac insufficiency problem.

But when Hamid talked mom into going to nearby New Jeddah Clinic Hospital, she panicked and pleaded to let her die among her children, not alone in a hospital.

But Hamid had a winning argument and we all agreed because we really wanted to get her treated. It’s very painful to see your loved one suffering without being able to help it.

I took Hamid to the post office and we sent one telex to our younger brother, Rashid, who was studying in Istanbul University and another to our oldest brother, Abid, who had moved to Pakistan since 1992.

They both came to see mom but by that time, our mom had cooled off and she asked Rashid to go back to his studies and not worry.

My older sister had volunteered to stay with mom so that she won’t feel alone.

By fourth day, her condition had improved and stabilized but they had been unable to find a replacement heart yet.

My elder sister wanted to go home till evening to do the laundry and mom consented.

I dropped my sister at home and went to my job. We had given the Hospital my phone number as I was the only one with a direct line (no extension numbers).

At 2:41pm, I received a call from the Hospital informing me of my mom’s death.

Her lungs were filling with fluids due to cardiac insufficiency. She suffered a sudden attack, was rushed to ICU but they couldn’t save her.

Before going to see mom, I contacted Hamid and Zakir and rushed to the Hospital but both of them got delayed and according to the wicked prophecy, I was the first to arrive and I felt stinging pain because she died gasping for some air.

She kind of drowned.

After more than 21 years, I still carry this wound. I blame myself for my mom’s lonely death in a hospital.

My God does strange things to me.

What kind of a birthday gift was that?

“Look into the MIRROR (Bible) and you shall see the face (Jesus) that tells you: I love you, I’ll kill you. But I’ll love you forever” ~ Enigma.

My Wound

8 thoughts on “My Wound

  1. K. Bellamy with a Purpose says:

    What does this quote mean “Look into the MIRROR (Bible) and you shall see the face (Jesus) that tells you: I love you, I’ll kill you. But I’ll love you forever” ~ Enigma. ???

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This quote is from a song by Enigma, “I Love You, I’ll Kill You”.

      The notes within brackets are my explanations because nobody seems to understand how their songs are God-breathed and how they’re just new Psalms.


  2. K. Bellamy with a Purpose says:

    Is this story real or fiction?? If this story is real, please dont blame yourself for the passing of your mother. God controls everything in our lives even down to the last time we will see a loved one. I wish could choose the right words to soothe your aching heart. May god heal you from all that you’ve been hurting from. God Bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for your kind words.

    Of course this story is true to every letter and jot.

    I posted it because my heart was too heavy. After posting it, I think I now know the good news in the prophecy: God was going to provide special Assisted Suicide for my poor mom who had been in terrible pain since 6 months through Divine Providence in Saudi Arabia, a country that doesn’t believe in mercy & assisted suicide.


  4. I understand your guilt and pain but I don’t I don’t see how you are responsible for what happened. Your Mother made a clear statement of her wishes. It’s possible that had she been in hospital the medical staff could have stabilized her condition until she had her surgery. For instance they could have drained the fluid from her lungs. She made a choice and you had to honor it. It sounds as if you were a good Son to your Mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After admission, she once had a cardiac arrest. They rushed her to operation theatre and administered a medicine after making a hole in her chest.

      Her condition improved very quickly and she sent Rashid back to his studies in Istanbul.

      That medicine – I believe – put her heart into full throttle and she started recovering. But that killed her failing heart in a couple of days instead of months.

      Reminds me of Jesus’s heart-wrenching cry “Eli, Eli! Why have you abandoned me?” and God rushing to His son and taking His life, giving Him relief.

      I guess now I understand!

      Someone said “Blogging is therapeutic” and another said “It’s not time that heals but it’s Jesus who heals”.

      My wound is healing after some 21 years. Through blogging, Jesus is healing.

      Strange God!

      Liked by 1 person

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