Once upon a time, there used to live a lonesome man.
It was me.
And I used to live in a beautiful garden in Greece that belonged to my father while my mother…
I had no mother!
Maybe that’s why I used to feel sad & blue.
On one beautiful day, I found part of me lying down in the middle of the garden, near the Laboratories, my favorite place that I used to frequent.
That garden I used to call Eden.
The local Greeks translated “Eden” to mean “school”. Wise Greeks.
It had a spring that divided into four rivers.
I called the first Pihon. I called the second Gihon. The third I called Haddekah and I called the last Euphrates. Don’t confuse them with current rivers and places with similar names!
I called one place in that garden Havilah. It had a mine of gold, and that gold was good (useful). We now call it “iron”. The dawn of Iron Age!
Another part, I called Cush. It was a forest. All kinds of animals used to live there. It was scenic. Even picture-perfect.
Then there was Syria. It had all kinds of edible fruits. And there was Assyria, a field of herbs and grains.
Now I had a problem.
I wanted that part of my body back in me.
But I couldn’t.
Or should I say “we couldn’t”? because she turned out to be a complete person.. but with some beautiful curves.
I called her “woman” because she was taken from me, the “man”.
Now she seemed to love me more than I loved her. She was better than me.
She used to make me feel ashamed and I wanted to please her as much as she used to please me with every move, every pose and every utterance of hers.
I wanted to please her.
No, I wanted to impress her. I wanted to be better than her.
She had THE MAGIC, something I obviously lacked.
Or at least that’s what I used to think.
A lady won’t tell.
We both wanted the same thing but it was me, not her who couldn’t shake off the Laboratories, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil from my mind.
I was looking for the know-how but she used to call that stuff they used to make “rat poison”.
Yes, rat poison.
She thought if eating or just touching it was going to kill us, it could only mean one thing: rat poison.
She used to hate rats and so did I but the know-how…
I figured that laboratory (whom the woman used to call ‘kitchen’) was somehow going to provide us the know-how.
The cooks there seemed very knowledgeable.
I used to call them serpents because their ways had an air of intimidation.
And I wasn’t totally wrong.
One day, the woman agreed and we went in. A devil came to welcome us and led us to a table.
He had a long list of substances and delicacies. The woman ordered Pizza, lemonade and wine. Unlike me, she was very cautious and didn’t trust anything unless it was pleasant to the sight and good to eat.
The devil told us his food and spices were going to tell us something about our naked bodies and how to join them.
Indeed, we grew up in a matter of minutes and we kissed and learned to become one through mating. It was enjoyable.
The woman became even more beautiful and desirable in my sight.
And that made me feel more miserable as I still failed to impress her as much as she used to impress me.
I went back to the Laboratories.
This time, I went alone.
I asked the devil for more “wisdom” and he gave me a pill. There was something written on that pill. The first letter was a capital V. The second letter was an “i”. The third was an “a”. The fourth was “g”…
“Take this”, said the devil. “Take that pill with this cup of water”.
I swallowed the pill and went back to the woman to impress her.
She was surprised & worried to see my erection. Stupid serpent.
At that time, we heard a voice. Someone was coming. We ran to Syria, THE Garden of Eden, and hid in the fig trees.
But we were relieved when we heard Father’s voice. We weren’t afraid of God. We were afraid of the Greeks.
God didn’t put that laboratory in the middle of Eden to give us troubles. He just didn’t want me, the man, to go there without the woman.
The woman knew her way in the “kitchen” but that place was a death trap for lone men.
It was my fault to go there alone. But in the panic, I blamed my woman for taking me there. The woman had no idea of my lone visit there so she blamed the devil.
I, Adam, failed to follow the instructions and decided to put blind faith in those evil scientists. I should have not gone there alone.
That was the evil. “Evil” means “without Eve” or “Eve-less”.
Hence, I decided to call those laboratories Moon Labs so that it will serve as a reminder that they actually belong to Monia.
Son of Jesus Christ.